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Any famous jerks in your neighborhood?

Published July 14, 2006
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I noticed that Radio Shack got themselves a real CEO last week. And just outta curiosity, I did a google search for Radio Shack's former CEO, the one who got fired in disgrace a couple of months ago when it was revealed that his resume was about as factually accurate as The Cat In The Hat. Doing a google search, I noticed that several articles mentioned him as a resident of Southlake (my hometown).

So I did a white-pages search, only to find that he lives on Dove road, which is the main-road you have to take if you wanna get from my house to anywhere.

I also learned that he's a repeat DUI offender and is, in fact, doing 30 days right now for his Nth DUI offense (scheduled to be released next week).

Also, given his high-profile firing, the chance that he'll ever see an executive job again ranks between zero and "over my dead body".

So that means that I have in my neighborhood a person who is. . .

  • a disgraced former executive.
  • dividing his time between picking up highway-trash and waiting at home for a job-offer that doesn't involve bagging groceries.
  • a repeat DUI offender.
  • sharing the road with Shelly and I, possibly on a daily basis.


With my luck, the dumbass is probably driving a Hummer. Probably still has his Radio Shack cellphone with him too. And he probably uses that cellphone to talk to his probation officer while driving his big dumb SUV on my road, trying to convince her that he's not holding a big 40-ounce bottle of Colt 45 in his other hand.

And he probably hangs out with Pat Summerall (who lives around the corner from him) who had to get an OEM liver after he finally managed to kill his original one. . .

"Hey Pat, how about we drink lots of 40-ounce bottles of Colt 45 and talk on our cellphones while driving really fast in our Hummers up and down Dove road!"




Although, on a "famous people who aren't total dumbasses" note, Janine Turner's kid goes to Maggie's school. Never met her, though. One of Maggie's buddies was the son of a linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys, but they pulled him out. Too bad, they were a really nice couple. Although I was surprised to see him at a school picnic the day before an away-game. I was gonna ask him about it, but his cell-phone rang and he hustled the family outta the picnic in a hurry, so I guess the schedule was as strict as I imagined.
0 likes 2 comments

Comments

noaktree
Very funny stuff! Radio Shack + Noaktree = Violence. I hate what that place has become.

As for famous people. Bill Ford's son is on my kid's baseball team.
July 14, 2006 11:44 AM
Ravuya
Ah, executive assholes.

We don't have any famous people in my neighbourhood, but we have lots of assholes. One day I'll write an article about it.
July 14, 2006 12:14 PM
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