Huh.

posted in The Bag of Holding

Published September 09, 2006

So I was about to crack open an IBC root beer and settle down with a good book, when for whatever reason I idly skimmed the bottle cap. It advertises a 1-800 number you can call for "nutrition information." I figured I'd give them a ring and see what it's all about.

Unsurprisingly, the line picked up with a recording about how all the lazy people were gone for the weekend, under some grand delusion about being entitled to a life and time off of work. Once the whining got finished, I got dumped into what sounded like a typical automated menu: press 1 for frequently asked questions, or 9 if you have a medical emergency requiring immediate attention.

I had to hang up here, and go consult my doctor; however, he assured me that curiosity, no matter how burning, is not a serious condition and does not constitute an "emergency." So that ruled out pressing 9.

The 1 option, however, leaves a little bit to be desired: after about 5 seconds of silence, a nasty recorded voice stutters out "One... is not a valid option." And then the whole spiel about everyone tromping off for the weekend repeats.

So I still don't know what's in a bottle of IBC root beer, but at least I know that their phone system is broken.

It's the small things that give life it's unceasing wonderment and joy.

Previous Entry Victory is mine! ... Sort of.

Next Entry Truck 54, where are you?

0 likes 6 comments

Comments

johnhattan

The theme-song to "The Jeffersons" is all about how George & Weezie are now rich and are "movin' on up". In the middle of the song, though, is the line. . .

"Fish don't fry in the kitchen. Beans don't burn on the grill."

Is this line intended to imply that rich people don't eat fish or beans?

Please advise.

September 09, 2006 05:43 PM

caffeineaddict

Who grills their beans?

September 09, 2006 08:54 PM

ApochPiQ

This is clearly a comment on the metaphysical incongruity of formerly poor persons becoming fabulously wealthy. A central theme of the song is cleverly couched in these two apparently nonsensical phrases: while at first glance, disparate and arbitrary entities such as fish and kitchens, beans and grills, and poor people and money may seem to have absolutely no causal connection, it is possible for them to in fact be linked in profoundly significant ways.

While these statements seem foolish on the surface, when we consider them vis-a-vis the subject matter of the TV show itself, we reach a startling truth: that which sounds absurd may, on further consideration, simply be a statement of utter common sense.

These lyrics invite us not to think of literal acts of cooking fish and beans, but to explore the unfathomable depths of circumstance and happenstance that might lead to amazing events becoming perfectly commonplace. In retrospect, it is indeed obvious that fish may fry in kitchens, beans may burn on a grill (provided, of course, with some means to ensure that they do not fall through the grill), and poor black folks might strike it rich and get their dues in life.

Truly, this was a work of philosophical genius, far ahead of its time.

September 10, 2006 05:03 AM

Will F

My question about TV theme songs is this - how exactly is the second half of this song Good Times?

Quote: Good Times.
Any time you meet a payment.
Good Times.
Any time you need a friend.
Good Times.
Any time you're out from under.

Not getting hastled, not getting hustled.
Keepin' your head above water,
Making a wave when you can.

Temporary lay offs.
Good Times.
Easy credit rip offs.
Good Times.
Scratchin' and surviving.
Good Times.
Hangin in a chow line
Good Times.
Ain't we lucky we got 'em
Good Times.

I love that show.

September 10, 2006 05:28 AM

Rebooted

Quote: Original post by ApochPiQ
This is clearly a comment on the metaphysical incongruity of formerly poor persons becoming fabulously wealthy. A central theme of the song is cleverly couched in these two apparently nonsensical phrases: while at first glance, disparate and arbitrary entities such as fish and kitchens, beans and grills, and poor people and money may seem to have absolutely no causal connection, it is possible for them to in fact be linked in profoundly significant ways.

While these statements seem foolish on the surface, when we consider them vis-a-vis the subject matter of the TV show itself, we reach a startling truth: that which sounds absurd may, on further consideration, simply be a statement of utter common sense.

These lyrics invite us not to think of literal acts of cooking fish and beans, but to explore the unfathomable depths of circumstance and happenstance that might lead to amazing events becoming perfectly commonplace. In retrospect, it is indeed obvious that fish may fry in kitchens, beans may burn on a grill (provided, of course, with some means to ensure that they do not fall through the grill), and poor black folks might strike it rich and get their dues in life.

Truly, this was a work of philosophical genius, far ahead of its time.

Oh. My. God. Things are so clear now.

September 10, 2006 12:49 PM

ApochPiQ

I think it has something to do with enjoying the true essence of life rather than the materialistic excesses.

I'd inflate that into a nice obfuscated mass of acadmian prose, but I already gave out a freebie today. I decided I'm going to charge $10 apiece for overly verbose dissections of popular theme songs from now on.

September 10, 2006 07:33 PM

You must log in to join the conversation.

Don't have a GameDev.net account? Sign up!

ApochPiQ

Author

🎉 Celebrating 25 Years of GameDev.net! 🎉

Huh.

Comments

ApochPiQ

Latest Entries

A Few Farewells

Code Reuse In Actual Practice

Source-Level Debugging For Epoch Programs

Using Poison to Reverse Engineer Code

Using Poison to Reverse Engineer Code

Debugging Information Success

Debugging Information Success

Debugging Epoch Programs

Debugging Epoch Programs

Epoch 64-bit compiler progress

🎉 Celebrating 25 Years of GameDev.net! 🎉

Huh.

Comments

ApochPiQ

Latest Entries

A Few Farewells

Code Reuse In Actual Practice

Source-Level Debugging For Epoch Programs

Using Poison to Reverse Engineer Code

Using Poison to Reverse Engineer Code

Debugging Information Success

Debugging Information Success

Debugging Epoch Programs

Debugging Epoch Programs

Epoch 64-bit compiler progress

Reticulating splines