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Wherein I admit to my (sole) failure

Published November 05, 2007
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I am a firm believer in the value of constant self-awareness and introspection. Without knowing one's status and limits at all times, it is impossible to effectively gauge growth, progress, and - in dire situations - regress.

This applies just as much to writing code as to project management as to personal discipline. Tests, bug lists, and milestones are critical for measuring the progress of a project as it is developed, and without them, we risk falling into a never-ending quagmire of constantly squishing code without ever shaping an actual loaf of bread. I think measuring humans is a little less amenable to strictly quantitative analysis, but any good leader must constantly be aware of the assets - human and otherwise - under his command, and know how to deploy them to the greatest effect.

These first two things are pretty well common-sense, and people reading development journals and hanging around places like GDNet are likely to already know these principles - even if they don't practice them. (And if you don't practice them, shame and a half-dozen assorted plagues upon you and your pet's genitalia, and start practicing at once!)

I don't know about the third one as much, but I'm starting to see it as possibly even more vital than the others.


I've written before about knowing one's own limits, and what to do about it. Unfortunately, this rule doesn't just apply in strictly technical areas, but also in the world of wetware as well - that messy, meatspace realm where we have to interact with (shudder) other people.

Hell may indeed be other people, but it's a hell we all have to live with. Modern projects don't get done by one person anymore. We may have as many as a hundred wayward souls roped into the nefarious scheme of producing a contemporary video game, and that means that chances are we have to work with people.

Occasionally, we may have excuses to forget that - for example, we might work on a totally different continent from our employers. We may not even have to wear pants many days of the week. The reality, though, is unchanged, and ignoring it is a perilous mistake.


I've done a notoriously bad job of communicating with the rest of my team, for the duration of my association with the company (a bit over 5 years). If we did anything as corny and moronically useless as regular performance reviews, it'd be that pesky category that always gets marked as "needs improvement" on my sheet.

It'd be easy to try and brush this off with various excuses: I'm bipolar and prone to extreme mood swings, so fuck off and die in a fire. I just work very independently. It's your fault for never reminding me. Blah blah blah.

The truth, though, is that blame lies solely with me. I'm stupid about keeping my team up to date, and abysmally bad about making random decisions about what I work on and when.



I am stupid and fail to communicate.

Now, let's see if I can stop being stupid about it.
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