I''m new at this, so I don''t know if this is the right spot, but hell, I may as well try. I have been throwing around a game idea for people to see, and so far I have gotten good critisizim back, but the issue is, that I don''t know if they are trying to be "nice" to me or not. In any case, here is my idea, or partial of it. Please honest responces...This is one part of the whole, the entire history and backgroud consists of almost 50 pages. Cyberpawz ------------------------------------------------------------------ The year is 2012 and the world as we know it no longer exists. Governments have fallen, are barely in control of their own land, or are shadows of their former selves. For now, I shall only discuss the United States because that is where The Game will originate. The United States has been broken into ?Corporate Empires,? much like the early Greek City States. In the US, these Corporate States have taken control from the remnants of the American government. The Corporate States, although outwardly friendly to each other with treaties and agreements for mutual advantage, inwardly wish to annihilate each other. The corporations are not the only ones that are in the game for power. The American Government has lost power but it is still using whatever resources it has left to gain it back. Gradually, the former government is waging an internal war against the Corporate States to destroy their foundation and regain control back once again. All sides and various separate entities with their own agendas have use for fighters, computer hackers and various cannon fodder to fight for and further their aims. These will be the characters of The Game. A Little History: During the year of 2002 the United States Congress passed a law that would set the foundations of the downfall of the American Government. The law was a ?Clean Election Law.? This law gave a "fair chance" to all politicians or anyone running for office by restricting campaign money. All money had to come from the main party, and a candidate could not accept money from any other source. During this time, an older law was also enforced allowing a maximum of $500 per individual voter to give to a party during a year. This law restricted corporations from buying elections, so they used less legal means to influence the court system. The Supreme Court repealed the law in 2003, for limiting the public?s ?Freedom of Speech.? In 2005 a revised law was passed. This law skirted the freedom of speech issue, and the court system could find no way to overturn it constitutionally. The government had learned a valuable lesson, but it was too late. The corporations had moved their "influence" to the judicial where their power to invalidate laws was just as great as it had been under the system of open contributions to the elected. By 2019, money to the parties for elections had dried up because of the electorates apathy. Congress could not allocate tax dollars for elections because of the strangle hold the corporations had on the judiciary. The corporations were held out of election influence and even with the judiciary they were losing money. The Stock Market was in the toilet with little chance for recovery. The name of the game was consolidation. The corporations busily bought and merged to try to begin making a profit somewhere. The heavy restrictions placed on corporations after the failure of ENRON and Microsoft also weighed heavily on the corporations. By 2020 unemployment was over 30% and the government was bankrupt. The once solid dollar was worth less than a tenth of a cent and there were food riots in the major cities. The 15-year do nothing congress was forced to act. With almost unheard-of speed, both houses of congress repealed the "Clean Elections" bill of 2005. This again allowed the corporations to influence elections and the operation of the government. Now the corporations controlled all 3 branches of the government. By 2040 the government, although stronger, had become corrupted by the money. The American Government resembled the late Roman Empire with corruption at every level. Unemployment was at an all time low, but wages were at third world levels allowing the corporations to become even richer and more powerful. The per capita income of America fell below that of China while the compensation for senior corporate managers rose to unheard-of heights. During the 2050s conditions in America were the worst that the country had ever seen. The poverty level was similar to that found in Russia after the end of the cold war. Corporations were making money because of the low labor costs and selling products overseas at very high prices. The government was in complete disarray without effective legislation, judiciary or executive leadership. Race riots were common in the streets of major cities as the melting pot of America fought for the few jobs still available. Both the government and corporations took advantage of racial tensions to exploit voters and workers. The last labor union died. Politically several coups by dissidents were discovered and put down - two of them with bloody fighting in the streets of DC. Organized crime grew to be as large an operation as some of the major corporations. Attempts by the government were met with bribes and if bribes were refused - by extreme violence. Chaos and violence were the rule. In 2055 the corporations, finally realized that they had created a monster in their "controlled" government. It was so chaotic that the corporations could no longer get effective legislation to further their aims. The chaos in the streets and the rise of the crime syndicates was eating too heavily into profits to be tolerated any longer. If a coup were ever successful, the corporations knew that they would lose everything that they had gained in power and control of America and its cheap production facilities and workers. Profits and possibly even their very existence was being threatened by that which they had made. The corporations decided after much debate between CEOs and boards of directors to propose to the government that the corporations take charge temporarily. The corporations would take over all government functions. Each corporation would be responsible for the primary areas where they had the largest production facilities. This would effectively divvy up America between the 4 largest corporations with the help of the smaller corporations in some areas. The smaller corporations would answer directly to the big 4. The government had little choice but to concede to the corporations with the stipulation that the corporations would take control for a limited time. The deed was done, and America would never be the same. During the first two years of the corporate take over the corporations began taking over all government functions to include military and police. When the consolidation was completed, the corporations started a military campaign to take back the streets from the thugs, racists and organized crime. It was a bloody and terrible time in the large cities with gun fights on every street corner. Racism was not tolerated, organized crime was driven underground and efficiency was put into all government functions. In 2059 with the corporate controlled government running smoothly and profits rising the elected government asked to take back control. During the corporate control, they also had reorganized and felt that they were the legitimate government and should be returned to power in line with the original agreement with the corporations. The corporations refused. They now had power directly and were not planning to let it go. The corporations felt that they had the upper hand because they controlled the military and police. The elected government felt that they were in right and that the public would support them. America was at the brink of a second Civil War. Rich against poor, corporations against government. Because neither side wished to destroy what they were fighting for, the fighting was sporadic and fought on many fronts. During 15 years of often bloody fighting, the common people were the ones that took the brunt of the war and suffering was wide spread. The corporations finally won, but by this time the US was a third world country. The corporations began the long rebuilding process with the grudging cooperation of the populace. The year now is 2070, and the corporations are in complete power...

This would be cool, if you decided to go against a one sided cyberpunk motif you''ve set up....

Reminds me of the the dilemma characters of BubbleGum Crisses faced. They couldn''t destroy the corporations, becaues then their society would crumble, instead they sorta policed corporations, hoping to strike a balance between evilness of corporate control, and democracy...

That kinda slippery slope might be fun to write a story for. You can have some characters go one way(balanced), some go another(corp only), and some go ad-busters(anti-corp). Then there is your character, who has to choose which path s/he must follow, will they go towards good for everyone, themselves, or no one at all?

quote: Original post by dede
This would be cool, if you decided to go against a one sided cyberpunk motif you''ve set up....

Reminds me of the the dilemma characters of BubbleGum Crisses faced. They couldn''t destroy the corporations, becaues then their society would crumble, instead they sorta policed corporations, hoping to strike a balance between evilness of corporate control, and democracy...

That kinda slippery slope might be fun to write a story for. You can have some characters go one way(balanced), some go another(corp only), and some go ad-busters(anti-corp). Then there is your character, who has to choose which path s/he must follow, will they go towards good for everyone, themselves, or no one at all?

Thanks, I was hoping it would get some good reviews

This is only part of the whole, the whole background is separated into five major players, in which you will interact with..

1. Corporate Empires
2, The Independent Corporation, (in which maintains stability of the four separate corporations)
3. Gangs/Clans
4. Old Government (which is broken again into sub groups)
5. Black Market

The idea, will be what group will you play for, will you help in crushing the Old Government, or will you help the Old Government regain control of the country they lost. Or will you be on both sides and keep everything for your benefit

Or will you take all on *weg*

I am hoping to make the game 100% dynamic, with a flowing plot line that will change upon your actions/reactions.

Are there any questions that you can think of, for praise is one thing, but praise sometimes brings false hopes and puffed up egos

I want to have a tight plot, and game backgroud/concept, for I am going to be trying to get help to produce this, but yet have no idea if my writings are good enough for that

BTW, I do have characters written up that will be for one group or the other...but that is still going through the editing stages

Cyberpawz

quote: Original post by Anonymous Poster
You have an interesting concept of a game storyline but I am still confused on how you can see this on the market side fo things? Sinces it is the future are or will there be any type of machines?mechs?robots?or something like the movie from road warrior with mel gibson?
But it seems that you are certain that this storyline game will be of some use to play the game.
For my own experience this is what I came up with when I was 14 and now I am 26.

I write all of my projects as easy to read book forms.That way when some one comes up to me and would like to take a closer look at my projects they can read it like a book or a guide either way.Check out the guide below and tell me what you think.If you still dont understand let me know anyways.
In your case this is what I would write (your options)

Main title (cover)
Chapters
History/Timeline
Character Outline Guide
Governmental House Outline Guide
WalkThrough
Enemies(optional)
Subbosses(optional)
Bosses(optional)
Weapons(optional)
Armor(optional)
Transportation(optional)
Maps w/ Area/Location Identification Marks
Continuation Of Main Story For Sequel (optional)
Credits
End Main Title(back end)


Hope you understand this and the interesting thing about this guide is that you can add or subtract or whatever you seem fit that wasnt in the setup of your storyline from the beginning etc.
I wish you luck on your game ideas.Let me know some time how it comes out.And maybe I will see you in the future of gaming.

Jumping Lizard
cowboy082246@aol.com

Actually I have thought of all you have spoke about as of now, and I am working on parts of what you stated...in my case these points.

1. Armor, Maps, Transportation, are still being designed.

The rest has already been thought of, As I stated before the entire documentation is roughly over 50 pages long, and that is still growing. I won''t be giving out the full documentation to everyone just for the fact that it''s too long and that it''s all copywrited

I have already created in my case, Bosses, sub-bosses, clans, gangs, government factions, main characters, sub characters, lead players, and grunts, and "cleaners" for the game.

As for the business aspect of it right now, I am reading like hell to learn as much as I can as quickly as I can about the full potential of the market, and as well as that stating the potential growth of the company, and the development of the next title, which in this case would be a sequel. I can do everything except program, and animate, otherwise I will be neck deep in the development of this game. I am as of not a laid-off network admin, and computer consultant for Boston College, I an a certified graphic designer, and I know for a fact I can still work on much of the stuff that in many cases would have to be outsourced.

As for now I can talk to you more about each group, but give me a section that would interests you the most and I will fill in the blanks

Ask questions and I will answer as soon as I wake up for it''s 3:50 and I am starting to get a little tired.

Cyberpawz

Well, in the game, I would leave the history aspect somewhat more dubious and unsure than what you typed, mainly because what you said would notable NOT lead to the end of the US government. So you might mention it in the beginning, but be way less precise about it. You could have someone try to pass a new Anti-Trust Bill in the footstep''s of the Sherman and Clayton(?) ones, but the corps squash the poor guy economically and kill his reputation (black-list), etc.

Overall, though, it has potential. I''m curious how the actual game will play out - what do you have to DO, exactly? Are we trying to fix the world (which, if the US died, so would very nearly all of the world) or just to stay alive...? Are we the son of the last President or the daughter of a major corporation? Just an ordinary Joe? Do I get to build an army and fight other armies or do I have to actually use skill and logic to get through the game?

IMHO, I would rather be someone of weird birth (as mentioned above) so that I have a motive of some kind, and have to coax people and solve puzzles to get through the game towards some clear objective (well, or at least a general direction with some obvious steps leading towards it).

Love to make some more comments, I just don''t know a whole lot about it at the moment (I''m sure most of this is contained in the other 49 pages).

-geo
(Red eye)

quote: Original post by Avatar God
Well, in the game, I would leave the history aspect somewhat more dubious and unsure than what you typed, mainly because what you said would notable NOT lead to the end of the US government. So you might mention it in the beginning, but be way less precise about it. You could have someone try to pass a new Anti-Trust Bill in the footstep''s of the Sherman and Clayton(?) ones, but the corps squash the poor guy economically and kill his reputation (black-list), etc.

LOL, actually I''m not worried about any anti-trust portion of this if the government gets a whiff, the way things are going, hell it just may happen. Can''t stop the 1st Amendment

quote: Original post by Avatar God
Overall, though, it has potential. I''m curious how the actual game will play out - what do you have to DO, exactly? Are we trying to fix the world (which, if the US died, so would very nearly all of the world) or just to stay alive...? Are we the son of the last President or the daughter of a major corporation? Just an ordinary Joe? Do I get to build an army and fight other armies or do I have to actually use skill and logic to get through the game?

Idea of the game is that you are going to be part of one of the five groups, either as an active participant, in the front lines, or in the background sabotage, etc... it all matters on what type of play you want to do... you will get to decide overall, but it won''t mean you won''t be able to deviate from the original plan, and still get what you need to, or destroy what you need to do be able to get the objective done. You will have full creative ability to get the job done...you can hire a group to work with, you, but if you do, you split it...but again, you can hire them to get the job done, or well, kill them off after the job is done... *weg*

As long as your employer at the time gets the end results, he doesn''t care as long as none of his "interests" are bothered.

But the game won''t be just about killing, the part of the game that I want to really make unique, is that if you kill so many people, out of a group, or back-stab, etc, and it gets out, you can have a contract on your head, or be banned from places, or just have others not talk to you, or raise the prices on you, etc...

The game will work off of your actions, and will react off of them... etc...

quote: Original post by Avatar God
IMHO, I would rather be someone of weird birth (as mentioned above) so that I have a motive of some kind, and have to coax people and solve puzzles to get through the game towards some clear objective (well, or at least a general direction with some obvious steps leading towards it).

Hmm, weird birth, well the part that this doesn''t state is the part of Magic, which it will have, but not as normal magic as you see in games now... this is going to be hard to explain. Part of the game was that the government after it''s banishment tried to get back control at one time with dealing with a super-virus that it created which would manifest and awaken the last 10% of the genetic code that laid dormant to improve or whatever the human it infects... the issue is that the scientist that created it spread it outside...and the old government was forced to take action. Well since then, the population has been going though types of mutations, etc...

You will have roughly over 7 species of human to pick from, as well as over 20 clans, and government and corporate factions. and if I remember correctly over 10 types of "jobs" which won''t be available at first, you actually have to find them, or have to progress till they come to you to become what you want to.

As for puzzles, you will have them to deal with, but they won''t be like myst, but they will be complex enough where you are going to pull your hair out at least.

quote: Original post by Avatar God
Love to make some more comments, I just don''t know a whole lot about it at the moment (I''m sure most of this is contained in the other 49 pages).

-geo
(Red eye)

If you want to read it I have to give you a NDA to say OK to hehe... and yes I''m serious.

My editor is working on the last 20 pages now, but I can give you a looksie to see what you think overall.

What I can say though, is that you will be able to trade with people online, and offline, start us shops, become a shop owner, etc... but yet still venture and take part of the game if you want... there are tons of ideas that this game is going to have... I don''t want to throw this too fast out here, I could write another novella here if I wanted to on the ideas alone, but I''m sure this has a text limitation... hehe.

Cyberpawz

Upon the new name of the new Windows OS (Longhorn), potentially coming out by 2005, to compete against the new Mac OS of 10.5 (Panther), a response was given.

Panthers eat Longhorns. Does this remind anyone of Windows 95 ("Chicago") vs. System 7.5 ("Capone")?

Ah! I totally misguessed the way the game would play!

I like how you''ve chosen to do it, though.

I would like to read it, but, lol. I like the flexibility in how you can go about the game, you could even add more (or, of course, not, it would be good as is).

Ah, mutants . Gotta love ''em. You should read PREY...

For the puzzles - yeah! I love hard (and impossible puzzles. Currently working through Chip''s Challenge at an amazingly slow rate in my free time. Jeff is making it 3D, too... I would highly recommend it!)

Aaah - I''m about to fall asleep, so I''m going to stop there for now!

-Geo
(red eye)

quote: Original post by Avatar God
Ah! I totally misguessed the way the game would play!

I like how you''ve chosen to do it, though.

I would like to read it, but, lol. I like the flexibility in how you can go about the game, you could even add more (or, of course, not, it would be good as is).

Ah, mutants . Gotta love ''em. You should read PREY...

For the puzzles - yeah! I love hard (and impossible puzzles. Currently working through Chip''s Challenge at an amazingly slow rate in my free time. Jeff is making it 3D, too... I would highly recommend it!)

Aaah - I''m about to fall asleep, so I''m going to stop there for now!

-Geo
(red eye)

Try being an insomniac...lol, in any case, thanks for the praise.

I read very little one, due to the fact I don''t need to take ideas from books by mistake. I''m already going to have a hard time publishing this game with any form of Cyberpunk, due to the fact that Shadowrun, and other groups have that covered quite well...

The neat thing about this game idea, is that from this point on it can go anywhere...

Although the game has "one ending" here, there will be multiple, the only issue is that there is truly only going to be one real ending for the other addition from this title. What I''d like to do is have the game ultimately become a MMORPG, were with the people who join can make the game world grow, or shrink due to their own design. Clans grow, get whipped out, corporations get squashed, borders get realigned, etc..all by game play. Not like EQ in where everything is static...

Cyberpawz

P.S. If you really want to read what I got edited I''ll be glad to show ya, but if you spill anything, you''ll owe your first kid, your soul, and your income for the next 20 yrs *weg*