I know you guys probably read stuff like this all the time but im gona post it anyway. Im just gona post a lil bit cause i duno about you when isee like pages and pages my brain just goes into neutral. anyways I know it needs editing but here it is and be as brutal as you want..... Child (Three figures come to the top of a hill along a rather ragged path in a heavily forested area with only the shards of the blinding sun peering through the cracks between the leaves illuminating the area. While there is traces of a road it seems like this is more of a short cut or back way lone travellers and merchants might use rather than a public road. The three seem most at ease with each other, joking and chatting while trudging along the way, the company of each other has made the trip all that much shorter. Their voyage together has been a long one, it’s written all over their persons from the sweat stains on their clothes to the baggage beginning to collect beneath their eyes, as for their walk it’s now more like a stunted saunter evolving from endless hiking. As they reach the top of the hill a smile begins to almost simultaneously crack on each of the three faces, as it appears they’ve reached their destination) Batalis: -Sniff, sniff- Ahhh, can ya smell that guys? Clean country air. Damn but it’s been a long time since I’ve smelled this, there’s no stink of the city here, and no layers of filth on my lungs, just the clean air. Kai: I can see what you mean, this is such a lovely change of pace, so quiet and serene. I guess you could only take the overbearing city for so long if this is where you were raised. Batalis: And I say amen to that, my friend. Too much of that dank hole is good for no one. Garick: Well If I’m readin’ the map right it looks like we’ve made it to Be’ hor, some sort of big farming town I think. Batalis: Yep, this is my home, and its pronounced Be’Hor, not B-Whore. Garick: Well ‘scuse me professor. Still smells like a dung heap no matter what you call it. Kai: (chuckles) Well I guess this brings our journey together to an end, its about another half hour east to the cathedral. It is where we must part ways my friends, and it has been a pleasure to travel with you. Garick: Like wise father, always a blast. Batalis: Are you sure you have to leave right away? C''mon guys there’s a nice little pub down the way, best ale in the valley! Let’s stop for a quick half, whaddya say? Kai: I regret I cannot, as much as I’d love to I need to get this book back to the Bishop as soon as possible. It’s why I was allowed on this trip in the first place! Batalis: Ah well, ya can’t blame me for trying, have a nice trip there father. Kai: And I wish nothing but good fortune to you both my sons. And I’ll be sure to take you up on that offer when I return. Batalis: I look forward to it. (As the three continue downward they reach the City Square, the heart of the town. Normally a quite place, it’s become quite noisy with thousands upon thousands of people littering the streets.) Garick: Say, for such quiet serenity, what with all the bustle? It’s getting pretty busy around here for the sleepy countryside doncha think? What’s goin’ on? Kai: It appears to be some sort of celebration is being prepared. Batalis: Oh you guys don’t know? Hell, I guess you city types wouldn’t. In the farmlands around the continent we have a party around the beginning of the harvest. It’s to give thanks to the soil and to the seasons of the year, without which those who work the land would have no home and no food. Kai: It must be a very important time of year for you. Batalis: It is, and for everyone who works for the harvest, not only is it a place to celebrate, but it is also a huge place of trade. You can buy new tools and equipment, buy seeds for next year’s crop and even sell your leftovers from last year. Mostly though it’s a social gathering for the common people. They come from all over for this one day. Garick: Heh, if you ask me it’s just another excuse for a getting piss drunk with some buddies. Now I know why you were pushing us so hard to get here by today. Batalis: Well.....I guess there’s that too. Kai: Not that YOU ever needed a reason Garick. (Catches a glimpse of a large crowd behind Batalis) Um Batalis, if everyone is so worried about getting the celebration ready, what’s that bunch doing? Batalis: ?? Garrick: Wow, what a huge crowd. It’s probably just some street performers puttin on a show, you know how it is at these things. Batalis: Naw look at their faces, they look pretty angry if you ask me. If I didn’t know better I’d say they were, or were about to be, lynching somebody. –Approaches mob- Say friend, what’s going on here? Farmer: Ahh my friends!! It is indeed a fortuitous day!, a blessed day! A day we shall all remember for generations!! Garick: And, uh why is that? Farmer: We have been given the opportunity to smite the face of evil!! To destroy a messenger of darkness before it even utters its first words! Garick: What the hell are you babbling about? Think you farm boys need to ease up on the moonshine. Kai: Let him finish. Farmer: Oh, father truly you should share in our joy for being one of the righteous surely you could recognise the greatness of what we have done today! Kai: Calm down my son, what is it that you have done? Farmer: We have caught a servant of the underworld itself! Kai: excuse me? Farmer: A demon father! A demon! (Batalis and Garick grin at each other trying to hold back a snicker) Batalis: No, shit... Garick: A what!? Oh please like a demon could be stopped by a couple of hicks like you. If you had a real demon this place would be nothing more than a smouldering hole right now. Kai: Garick, Batalis, please! Continue my son. Farmer: It’s the truth I tell you! My cousin is a member of the hired guards, he saw the captain take the hell-spawn down single-handedly he did. Kai: Amazing....a real demon. Garick: Well c’mon then, I’m not about to take the word of these loons. Let’s see just what these morons actually caught. GET OUTA MY WAY!! C’MON MOVE IT!! Batalis: Didn’t you need to get going father? Kai: It can wait for now, I have a rather bad feeling about this situation. Fanaticism as rabid as this mixed with “demon” hunting can never be good. (They force their way to the centre of the crowd.) Batalis: ....??? So where’s the demon? Farmer: behold! There she sits! Caged like the animal she is! Batalis: You mean that girl in the box?! My god, she’s just a kid. Farmer: Aye, caught whilst still a pup! Stopped afore she could work her evil against our kin. Garick: Aw, c''mon. That kid looks as if she couldn’t hurt a kitten. (Whispers begin to emanate from the crowd as Garick speaks) Kai: How can you all be so sure she’s a demon? She looks awfully human to me. (From within crowd a man flanked by guard’s steps forth.) Taulik: Because unlike spineless simpletons, such as yourself, these people can see past this girl’s sweet exterior. Batalis: Watch your mouth, you’re speaking to a man of the cloth! Kai: May I ask your name, my angry child? Taulik: I’m not interested in pleasantries father, I want to know what it is you’re up to here. We have a monster that will be exterminated in the name of the holy father, I would only assume a man of the church could only be over joyed at this. Kai: I merely wished to survey the situation, and I must say I’m rather confused by it all. I find this accusation against this child a little befuddling, for as I look out at this crowd of faces I see none of any brotherhood of faith, none that are trained as pagan examiners, or demonologists. So I ask again, how are you so sure she is a demon? Taulik: This “child” as you refer to her as killed some of my best men tore their bodies and swallowed their souls. If you don’t believe me check the graves we had to dig for our comrade’s, the dead don’t lie. She may look human now but she is not of this world, when at her worst she is a horror the likes of which I shall not speak. And I’ll thank you not to stick your nose where it’s not wanted; we have handled this situation quite well without any outside aid. Her fate is none of your concern. Kai: We were merely curious...... Taulik: Irrelevant, there is nothing more to say on the matter. (Taulik gives a cold stare out at the crowd, they quickly disperse) You are welcome to stay for tonight’s festivities, but any trouble and I’ll throw you and your friends in jail. Batalis: You rude son of a... Kai: (quickly interrupts Batalis) We shall graciously heed your warning good sir, I thank you. Good day to you my son. (The man grunts and snaps his fingers, he heads off while his helpers take up guard positions around the cage) Kai: Who was that man? Batalis: His face looks awfully familiar... if I’m right his name is Taulik. I’ve heard about this crackpot mercenary become “demon hunter” while I was up north, but the rumour is that some of these demons he caught were nothing more but a few poor souls put in ridiculous costumes. I also heard it put a bounty on his head in some towns I’m not 100% but I’m pretty sure I saw that mug on a wanted poster in Pent. Garick: Pah, it’s just a bunch of hillbillies getting their kicks. If it’s not one thing it’s another, and if they aren’t kept entertained they end up burning, crucifying or killing each other for whatever reason, present company excluded of course. Batalis: Of course. Garick: The girl was probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Batalis: Well either way there’s nothing we can do about it now. Kai: Hmmm, Batalis. Batalis: Yes father? (Looking concerned at the young girl in the cage, and then looking up at Batalis) Kai: I think I will take you up on that offer for a drink. I could use a bit of a rest before my trek to the bishop’s home. (A wry smirk curls upon Batalis’ lip) Batalis: Hah! I’m willing to bet tonight’s gonna be an interesting night. *Cheasy I know but it’s place holder till i think of something better (The night of the celebration- At first the screen is pitch black with only murmings from a crowd playing. A burst of flame fills the screen only to disapate showing the fire eating performer behind it. Now the festivites can be seen joyful music begins to play and dancing, laughing and general mirth take place. *this stays though Amongst the crowd we see Garick schmozing it up with the local women and after a sip of a drink asks one to dance. The two head off to into the crowded square and the camera pans onto Kai and Batalis who are both having a drink at a table in a (relativly) quiet corner, looking out into the crowd) Batalis: Well are you going to tell me or do I have to torture it out of you. (A coy look on Kai’s face.) Kai: I’m not sure I understand. Batalis: Come on now you’re insulting the both of us. You think I’ve travelled across three continents and more battlefields than I care to count, with you, without getting to learn a little about you? I saw the way you looked at that girl and I know that merciful heart of yours just can’t stand to see an innocent treated like that. Even if it’s possible she may not be completely innocent. Kai: I haven’t the slightest notion what you’re talking about. That Mr. Taulik said he had the situation well under control. Batalis: And the fact that a man like is him involved raises my suspicions even more. Let’s face it he didn’t exactly look like the chivalrous type. Kai: Never the less... Batalis: Kai! C’mon this is me here. (Kai sighs, and mournfully looks down into his drink) Kai: I checked the graves you know, while this Taulik may not be the most noble of men, the graves were full and the distraught faces of family members around town were enough to convince me something tragic has happened here. But.... Batalis: But, what? Kai: Something just feels wrong, while it is my duty to see that mercy finds a home were it normaly cant be found, I find it is more than just my oath to the brotherhood that weighs heavily upon my mind. There is just something about that girl. She may not be a demon, but she is....different. I’m not sure it may just be a feeling I had..... Batalis: Really Kai? I think she’s a bit young for you. She looking like she’s barely pushing 10 years and all. Kai: Batalis, I’d expect a comment like that out of Garick. Batalis Relax old friend. I’m just teasing, but I know what you mean something does not sit right with me about this whole situation. This sort of thing doesn’t just happen around here, but it all may be an academic point now, lord knows what they may have for “the nights entertainment” tonight. Just promise me if you plan on doing something foolish you give me a least a little prior notice? (Kai looking rather miserable grumbles and stares into his drink, though a slight smirk escapes through the net of his misery) Batalis: C’mon she seems safe for now, lets get up and mingle maybe we can squeeze a little enjoyment out of this night yet. (Batalis puts arm around Kai who is still focusing on his drink, the two make their way into the crowd, they socialize and Kai even dances a little after a bit Kai stops and moves aside to get a bit of a breather in. He begins to walk down a small path to look at the stars and calm his mind his pleasent little moment of solitude is aburptly interupted by a rather loud and disturbing noise.)

Whoa dude dont hold anything back now ! seriously though I can see you didn''t like it but in my defence you can''t forget this is only a small chunk of my script and its not even finished yet(hence the topic name)As for the action sequences where the player takes control I'' am goin to add those in after the script''s finished so I can make sure the blend in nice and smooth with the story. As for backround on what these guys are doing out in the country you find that out a little later in the script (about the time kai delivers the book mentioned in the early goings of the script, he explains what hes doing traveling with those two guys)As for the characters physical apperance I''m not sure what you''re on about, this is meant to be a game script not a book I do have the chracter desgins and while I know this doesnt help you as a reader, I would dare you to take just about any game script, or even some books, based on the first few pages of dialouge and give me an in depth acount of what the chracters look like thier personalities and what setting they''re in. Like a game like FF7 if I just read the text I would have little to know clue what time era they would be in, its the visuals that will do a lot of the talking. What Iwas hoping to do is as the story porgresses you begin to be able to peice together the backround of each chracter through the way they act, talk interact with people (and heck if you wan details some of the even go to thier place of work). I dont want to smack people in the face and blurt out everything about them (im pretty sure most heros in storys dont wear badges saying "im a hero" or go around to everyone they meet saying hello im a hero how the weather?) as for the whole city farm thing, you''re toatly right, it was my poor choice of words the place thier in is more a backwater town with a large farming community. Sorry If I sounded like a dink here and bud seriously I really do appreciate you taking the time to read my stuff, and I do hope you read when I finish further versions of it maybe even (gasp) the final version.