thanks for your comments, i will change as you said especially thankyou for telling me that the names where no good and yes i picked them at random. i throught i would keep the original characters for what else kinds are there except maybe incorperate a vampire and arch mage into my characters . korean is my first language by the way and i have trouble with grammar still today. anyway i throught for you to pick one heading and comment on it i did not expect you to resd it all just maybe one or two to get a storyline. it is massive because if you write a game you must know everything from their lifestyle to personality thats why itr was so long. and me including the adventure sheet with it made it more longer for this i apoligise the imagination is still basic since i wrote this when i was young and probably worth going over again for a better structure. [Edited by - open on April 14, 2006 3:13:49 AM]

I don't think anyone here is brave enough to read all of that.

What you need to do is parse the data into a more readable format, like a word doc file or a pdf, or even html.

Phew!...I started reading this..and then gave up due to no warning given that it would be, um, looong!...kudos for your first(?) post though! :)

WOW! So much text...
A good idea would be to put what your trying to accomplish right at the top.
For example:
- are you asking for criticisms on your idea?
- are you asking for help or suggestions on how to make your idea?
- are you just throwing the story out there to see what everyone thinks?

Quote: Original post by open
As the council comes to an order, seven great warriors each accomplished in their arts entered the great hall, a paladin named Alex aged 24- human , a knight named Kris aged 30 –human, a thief named Sarah aged 28 - human , an archer named Jason aged 21 - human, a cleric named Catherine aged 80 - elvan , a druid named Lucas aged 120 –elvan , and a sorcerer named Michael aged 200,- gnome, they stood front of the council awaiting orders .

I wish people would quit using the same old formulas and simple variations thereof. In stead of narrowing it down, you decide to use almost every archetype from the fantasy genre, plus elves. There's no imagination in the names, either. Were they randomly picked, or taken from your friends or people you thought were cool?

As for the rest of it, the English is horrible and near unreadable. Bad grammar abounds. You put in the fighting system and such, which really don't need to be in this forum. All you need here is the story.

Dude, ease up. Give the guy a break... he said he was 13 when when he wrote this stuff and that English wasn't his first language. ;)

I'm with the others on summarizing your post, i just couldn't help but laugh to myself while scrolling down this never-ending page.

Holy Crap! That is a lot of text. Honestly, that's too much text. To read through it would simply take more time than most people have, myself included.

I recommend you put this all into a PDF document (or a Word document) for people to download, and replace all the text in your post with a summary of what is in the PDF file.

Also, I think you could clarify what type of responses you want. Are you looking for people to make this game with you? Constructive criticism?

Okay, so, what is your first language, Open? (This isn't an attack; it's an honest question with reasoning behind it.)