Well, this is pretty much the story that we have on our hands. I'm here to ask for your help in terms of additions/corrections/modifications, or even a complete re-write if you feel like it. At the moment, the game is still in the garage, thus the most of our time is going to its technical details - code, art/audio assets and such. If you feel that you can help us just a little bit with the story, please post here or talk to me online on 42699190(ICQ) and acolytee@hotmail.com(MSN). Also I would like to mention that if the first episode of the game succeeds, we are going to make expansion packs with continuation of the story or rather consider that at the very start and allow the player to explore only a portion of that story. Thank you. Story Outline The story begins as your hero enters the domain of the Dunharrow province. He travels along the countryside and comes to the village that resides on the outskirts of the Town. There he asks for directions to the town as well as doing other general talk to men and women alike. On his way to the Town, he encounters waves of usual animals – bears, gazelles, rabbits and such; hero notices that all of them are moving in the same direction - away from town. Considering this as a result of excessive hunting, he doesn’t give enough time and effort to look deeper into this issue and walks towards Town. For first few weeks he looks for the job, spending time over the town and outside, but then the horrible happens. A few walking corpses have appeared in two graveyards located outside the city, not yet attacking the living but just mindlessly stumbling around. Then, a few days later, there was a dark fire seen in those two graveyards, something of the round shape (portal), and that’s where the attack of the city from all three directions has begun. City’ three entrances have been besieged by the undead and creatures nobody knew how to call. Guards were holding strong, however swords and spears weren’t affecting undead, but rather magic. From time to time, waves of creatures and undead were attacking the city, trying to break through the gates; however the strength and courage of its defenders was keeping them at bay. Each time those waves were becoming larger, new creatures and types of undead have appeared in them, the city has almost lost hope. That is where you step in. It was by coincidence that top mages of the city have discovered the enemy who was commanding the attack on the city. His location was in the old and forgotten ruins to the south of the city, where people of long past have fought and were buried. In the city hall, a gathering of most powerful mages, best rangers and warriors has commenced. The Seal is going to be placed on the chosen one to destroy the enemy, but this Seal is only going to activate when the hero is in the life-critical condition. In the event of his death, the Seal will release its power by blowing up the ruins and burying everyone with the commander forever underground. Through the selection process, a captain of the town guard runs in, asking for help at the west gate. From his words, everyone in the room understand that it’s the biggest wave there ever was, the attackers from the other sides have joined forces and are storming the west gates with anger and skill unseen before. Mayor orders everyone in the room to help defending the city and assist the captain, because otherwise there will be nobody left to defend if the enemy breaches the gate and floods the city. After the fight, it seems that only 3 survivors left from the group – that being you and two other people. They are lightly wounded, and it is decided to keep them in town for further defense and so it is you who has to proceed to the west entrance of the enemy’ hideout. Overnight, following by minor attacks of all gates, mages of the town place the Seal on you and you set off. Through all this time, from the attack to the end of the placement of the Seal, you feel that you’re being used, that it wasn’t you who made the choice of doing this task. So, before setting off, you are looking for a fellow regent mage who is able to lift the Seal. Understanding that it’s never a good thing following in someone else’ will, even if it is “for the best of everyone”, you are seeking for something to improve your chances of fighting against the enemy… Necromancer - Lesser Evil While the necromancer is sending waves after waves of undead and creatures to attack the city, his goal is to secure either an artifact or the ‘living force’ that will help him fight an even greater evil – the Fissure that is pouring legions of creatures that are killing everything living (and undead!). Those creatures do not have magic or any weapons, they attack with their bare hands and claws, thus the undead is most effective against them. But it seems that there is not enough undead yet risen, and to get more of it the necromancer must either do a sacrificial ritual or convert the ‘living force’ into something useful. He pursuits the latter because there will be more of that force and more corpses from newly fallen people of the town. As you will be coming closer towards him, you will be seeing stories and images in your head while resting about creatures of the Fissure, and you will face them by one at a time. They prove as a very formidable opponent, but you manage to overcome them, fearing that at some time there may be more of them together in one place waiting for you. As you face the necromancer and: • Almost kill him, another dark person appears and protects him from further harm. That person talks to you, asking for your help against the creatures of the Fissure, telling that he has foreseen your arrival and was waiting to offer you a place in the ranks of his lieutenants that are fighting against Fissure’ plague. He says that it’s up to you to choose, however if you wish to return back to town and pass the visions of the armada he’s fighting, he wouldn’t be against it. • Fail to kill him and stand at the edge of dying, he prevents his minions from attacking you and heals you a little. He then tells you the story why he became a necromancer in the first place. Long before when he came to the Town, he was looking for a place amongst members of its mages guild, but been rejected because of the darkness they’ve found in him. So he went his own way and found a renegade wizard who taught him different magical schools. Occasionally his teacher was killed by the Fissure’ creatures when during the lesson in the nearby forest, but the he fled and sworn to stop the Fissure from harming anyone else. Since he was most skilled in Dark arts, he grew the undead army and thrown it against the Fissure creatures. However, more and more creatures were pouring out of it and the undead ranks started slowly to decline. He emptied all the nearby resources of the undead – graveyards, crypts, old burned villages and settlements. His army was going out of control when he discovered that the ‘living force’ was a lot more stable in the body of the dead than the one of his own, and so he decided to pursue the path of attacking the Town. Discussion This is just a rough sketch of the story the player will be presented with. Minor additions such as character stories, minor quests and such can be introduced for more of an RPG gameplay, and I feel it will add a little to the game besides the usual hack-n-slash involved throughout it. As an example, you can be presented with a person who asks you to bring him an ancient piece of writing from the wall, or one of the enemy’ servants who penetrated the city asks you to bring you the artifact which is in fact a trap. There can be as many or as little of these things as you want, one thing to remember is once we got the skeleton running, then we can add whatever we need.

Well this is my summary of this stories timeline. It is simple enough to follow and my suggestions are included in (these). The unknown names are given *. I left the player with Him/Her because... well I wanted too.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
* ventures to the town of * in hopes of joining the town's top mages, he is denied due to his darkness.
* went his own way and found a renegade wizard who taught him different magical schools.
His master is killed by minions of a great evil known as the fissure.
he vowes to stop the fissure using dark magic.
(From his master's old possesions he uncovers "the eye of the dead", which reveals to him a dark presence who grants him the strength to command power over the dead)
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
He builds an army of the dead to destroy the fissures creatures, and hopefully the fissure.
* becomes The necromancer, using any dead he can find to join his army, which at best is only holding off the fissure's creatures.
(The necromancer's life is in danger by the power of the fissure)
The necromancer summons an army of undead in order kill the people of the town, and add them to his army of undead, thus gaining the numbers necessary to destroy the fissure.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- (TIME GAP)
The player enters the eerie domain of the Dunharrow province.
For first few weeks he/she looks for work.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Strange things begin to occur in the graveyard.
Creatures and types of undead begin an attack on the city.
The city nearly falls to the waves attacks.
Top mages of the city discover the one in charge of the attacks.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
The Top mages believe "The Legend of the Seal" has begun and commence a search for the one fated to destory this evil man.
"The Legend of the Seal" tells of the chosen one sacrificing his/her own life to eliminate the evil man and his minions.
The player is then forced to defend the town's west gate.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
The player is one of three survivors of this attack, so...
The player is chosen as the bearer of the seal, yet he/she refuses to give their life for this town.
The player is told to venture into the enemy stronghold in the west.
The player first searches for a way to lift the seal, or at least a way to save their own life.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Failing in his/her search The player makes their way from the west gate of the city.
(The fissure acts on the power eminating from the seal and decides he will use it to his advantage)
(called by visions from the fissure), the player's strength is tested in a dream like state whenever they rest.
(The fissure fools the player, pretending he is trying to save the town from the necromancer, offering the player false help against the dream creatures that he is creating)
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
The player eventually finds the lair of the necromancer in "the old and forgotten ruins to the south of the city".
(The player brings the necromancer to near death and learns that the true enemy is the fissure)
The necromancer prevents his minions from attacking the player (and offers the player the eye of the dead, which connects the player to the spirit world)
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
(Upon taking the eye of the dead,) the player is confronted by an unknown dark mysterious person.
The necromancer dies and the dark person (shows the player how to prevent any further harm from the attacking undead soldiers by using the eye of the dead).
This person offers the player a place in the ranks of his lieutenants that are fighting against Fissure’ plague.
(The player refuses any responsibility but decides that his/her best bet is to venture out to find and destroy the fissure own their own)
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Well that's where your story ends but I could finish this off if you want.

Thank you Minimally, that is a great addition (a structured one, I may add!) to the story because it is linear but also can be used for making choices at the end. This will also allow for easy expansion of it further down the track and invent new paths for the player to choose. And yes, by all means, if you wish to finish it, don't hesitate - I'm always eager to hear new and exciting endings, although reading through the story also has its advantages :)

Thank you again.

Well I guess I need to know how much more story you need. Specifically, what percent of the story is complete so far?
There are 4 potential final enemies (and I'll explain how): 1 The top mages, 2 The Fissure, 3 An Undead Necromancer and/or his Master, and 4 The Dark Figure.

(1)The top mages may be upset that the player doesn't want to fufill the "The Legend of the Seal", so they could eventually turn their powers against the player.
After the player ventures out to find and destroy the fissure, they find a way to break the seal, the seal breaks and the mages enter and the battle begins. The player is losing and all of the sudden the fissure arises. The mages decide that they will fight the fissure. I'd make the mages lose, but then let the player finish off the fissure. The player becomes a hero ... the end.

(2)The fissure is a main enemy choice of course.
The player ventures out to find and destroy the fissure. The journey continues as the visions created by the fissure become increasingly difficult to get through. The fissure is eventually found and ... well ... the battle begins. The player nearly dies but is saved by the dark figure ... the fissure is killed ... the end.

(3)There is also the possibility that the necromancer could return in the end, summoned by his undead master. The player could infact fight them both.
In this scenario the player increases his/her skill with "the eye of the dead" to a point in which they can ressurect the dead. Before finding the fissure the player tries to ressurect the necromancer's old master to help break the seal. Once ressurected the master has a huge battle with the player and resurrects the necromancer as well as some of his other "students" to fight the player. As for the fissure, the player would learn a secret from the dark figure about how to destroy the fissure with a spell, not a fight ... the end.

(4)My favorite idea is to make the dark figure turn out to be death itself.
The player ventures out to find and destroy the fissure and finds a way to remove the seal while at it. The seal is lifted and the fissure is defeated in an easy battle. As the fissure dies he curses the player and sends them back to "the old and forgotten ruins to the south of the city". There the player sees the dark figure come out of the shadows, and reveal itself to be death itself.
Death would be upset that the player is trying to avoid his/her own demise, thus death would attempt to kill the player ... The player can't win ... and dies ... the end.
Now as far as continuing this story, the player would resurrect themself from being dead and return undead. If the player were to beat death, then everyone would live forever so things would become a little wierd. Unless the player makes the necromancer the new death, but that's just too out there. Or is it?

Now if you want to give the player options, there are specific points in the story to add so called forks that could result in each of the above listed endings, or infact even mix these endings. I could really add all or a few of these enemies into a single story, but again, I don't know how much is too much.

[Edited by - Minimally on January 9, 2007 10:18:14 PM]

Thanks Minimally,
One thing I want to add is that Fissure (canyon) cannot be destroyed by melee fighting and such, just because hitting the opening with something won't make it close. So, it has either to be the fight between the boss of the Fissure after diving into it, or some magical spell that will bring the all-healing Darkness and close it. This is in itself another turn why player must turn to the Darkness to seek aid of closing the Fissure.
I wouldn't mind seeing 'forks' made by you in the story, however all of them have to either lead to the final or assisting the player getting there with better or worse chances of success.