“Alpha and Omega: The Curse of the Two Dragons” I see my game as being a random encounter RPG that fight likes final fantasy tactics. I also see my game as being more of an adult themed game, like if it was actually released it would be NC17 or something. I just get so tired of playing games especially RPG games that are filled with kid stuff like if you go to the bar all you can have is a glass of milk or cute creatures you fight... I want to go to the bar and drink a beer like in fable or fight a big ugly ogre instead of a cute little bunny rabbit. I envision my game as when you’re fighting an enemy and you do a head shot with your archer you see the head get shot. Or you see your enemies head struck off by a death blow. I see the battle field as being completely interactive which will make replay value increased as there will be many different strategies to take out your enemy. Such as falling boulders off a cliff or exploding barrels being shot by your flame arrow just to name a couple. Now I have many aspirations for my game that no RPG maker may be able to fulfill, so I might have to go to college to see my dreams come to fruition. I also see the use of a stamina bar when fighting and running that involves your endurance and the weight of your gear combined with the strength of your character. Like every attack or movement takes so much stamina to perform and if you start to run low you have to rest. Another part of my game I see is the use of Romance of the Three Kingdom Battles or Kessen style fighting along with the regular RPG style fighting. I want to include this because this is not only a game about stopping one man but stopping a whole countries army. I have a nice formula for it and will post it also. Anyways what I’m writing after this will be the intro to my story or the back ground story to the actual story. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Our story starts deep in the old and sacred holy lands of shamans and oracles where the oldest of oracles known to man is deep in his meditation. The smoke from the seeing fire is filling his hut, which is said to further induce trances of the oracles. The oracle named Bath Kol started to envision something. It was an egg, a dragon’s egg to be exact. Dragons were sacred to these men of the holy land as being creatures who could either bring death or life to the world of mortal men. As his vision progressed the egg started to split open and out of this egg two dragons were born atop a mountain while the mortal men and women below rejoiced and celebrated. The first dragon was born of a dark coal color with eyes of a dark red, like the color of fresh blood. The second dragon was the color of the brightest gold and it shined so bright that even the sun was blinded. Now the first dragon that was the color of coal opened its mouth and what came out of it sent the shaman into convulsions as he seen an ominous cloud stretch forth out of its mouth to enshroud the land below. Seeing this, the dragon that was the color of gold opened his mouth and out came a flame that was brighter than all of the suns in the universe combined and it shot across the landscape and clashed with the ominous cloud for the right to rein over the land. As the ominous cloud and the bright light clashed for the right to rein over this land the two dragons flew into the air and headed straight for one another. Right as the two dragons were about to crash into one another a bolt of lightening struck a tree right outside the shaman’s hut and brought Bath Kol out of his trance. He dreaded his vision he knew not exactly what it meant but he knew it had something to do with the frightful day of when Avian was banished from this living world since the day he had his vision was the exact day that Avian was banished on and the only day where every country in the known land celebrates as one. This day is known to the world as The Day of the Undoing. So with this peril in mind Bath Kol, the shaman of the holy land of Nas’Regul, set out on a journey to find out the true meaning of the vision. On the same day of the undoing of Avian, King Vladimar Forensia paced frantically outside his own bed chambers waiting on the news of his pregnant wife who is currently in the process of birthing his baby. King Vladimar is the king of a great land known as Appia. Appia is a very fortunate country who played a big part of banishing Avian the lord of the dead from the planets of mortal men. He is a direct descendent of Audric Forensia who was said to fight sword to sword with Avian himself and survive which is the task many men before him failed at. Being so his country that Audric founded is blessed financially and also in military prowess. It is an advanced country definitely one of the super powers of the world of Galerius. The king loves his people and the people love their king. So as his people celebrated the day known as the Undoing, they also await the news of the birth of the new heir to the throne. Finally as the sun was setting Vladimar’s top surgeon busted through the doors of the king’s chambers and into the hallway. The surgeon spoke, “Sire!! Come quickly see your sons!!” “Did you say sons??” the king replied in great astonishment. “Oh, this is truly a glorious day. Send for my messenger and tell him to give word to the people of my country that God has shined down a miracle on this greatest of days by blessing their country with not one but two heirs!” So the surgeon left the king with his wife and sons and sent for the messenger to deliver the kings message to his people. The king and his queen discussed the names of their sons and they decided that the oldest twin should be named Vechi and the youngest twin should be named Tanar. When the news spread throughout the country of Appia the people also felt the same as their king that this was a great blessing that God must be smiling down upon their country and many more blessings await their country. The king also sent for his master craftsman and told him to create a suit of armor for each son that contained magic of incomparable power. The suits of armor were to be completed by his twin son’s graduation day from the military academy of Appia. One was to be of a bright gold color for the older son, Vechi, which would represent the day and one of a dark black color for the youngest son, Tanar, which he said would represent the night… As the boys progressed in age they each focused on different areas in life, even though they were twins. Vechi being the heir to his father’s throne focused much on politics and how to please the people in his country. He was a smart boy and he knew that a country with no people is not a country at all. He attended the officer’s school of Appia with his brother Tanar. Unlike Tanar, Vechi spent a lot of time in his books studying formations and tactics. He would be a proven general one day that much was sure. By the time of his graduation no one even came close to performing as well as he did. Vechi grew very close to his father probably because he shared many of the same values as his King Audric. He was compassionate, merciful, and just. Vechi was one of the greatest warriors of his time only to be topped by the talent of the sword his younger brother, Tanar, wielded. Now Tanar was an envious boy when it came to being the heir. He felt that he was the strongest and that the heir should be decided by military prowess alone. Tanar respected his father’s decision though and held his animosity inside where it would eventually grow and capture his heart. He was not as smart as Vechi and was often outwitted by Vechi on my accounts. He despised his older brother, Vechi, for being so favored by country and king. Tanar spent much time to himself learning the old books of long forgotten magic. With this magic Tanar’s power grew immensely. The magic combined with the envy and animosity towards his brother started to take a hold of his heart. As he progressed into manhood his character showed that of a brutal man. He had no remorse for taking the life of another man his punishment to men of wrong doings was severe. Many men feared Tanar not just because of his power on the battle field but also his character. His father begged of Tanar to quit studying these old dark magics since the dark magic drew on the power of Avian the dark lord whose essence still remained in this world. Tanar refused his father’s advice and kept studying the magic. The king was saddened by this but he loved his son no matter how he was. Tanar growing into this type of a man also probably played a part in Vladimar favoring his eldest son, Vechi. One day when the boys were young men, Vladimar gave them control over parts of the standing army and sent them out on conquests of other foreign lands to expand his empire. The boys grew into fine generals. Vechi’s tactical mind outwitted even the best of generals in foreign countries. Tanar’s power alone was the deciding factor in many of theses battles and it only grew stronger day by day due to his magic. News spread far and wide of the two twin brothers from Appia in their shining armors of gold and black. Many people feared Appia and made truces with them just out of the worry alone that the two boys might one day be marching through their fields. Many gifts and tributes were given to Appia to tide the beasts hunger. During a time when the boys were away the king was sitting alone in his throne room late at night worrying about the outcome of the battle that was about to take place. One of the kings messengers came in telling him a prophet was requesting and audience with him and that it had to do with his son’s. The king already worried as it is about his son’s spoke, “Send him in and leave us.” The old prophet walked up to the king’s throne and kneeled down before him and spoke, “Your majesty I bring no false prophecies to your kingdom but what I must speak of will be bitter to your ears.” The king intrigued told him to continue regardless. The prophet told him that his name was Bath Kol and many moons ago he had a prophecy. The prophet then told him his vision of the two dragons. “Sire, your son who bears the dark black armor will bring not only destruction to your kingdom but also the whole land of Galerius and you must confine him some where and not allow him to see light again if you cannot bear to take his life yourself.” Bath Kol instructed. “Silence! How dare you speak of such things in my chambers! You truly are a senile man and I should strike you down with my sword here as we are!” yelled Vladimar in a very outraged tone. Vladimar called for his guard and instructed him to take the old fool out side of his kingdom and if he is seen again he was to be hung on site. So Bath Kol was escorted out of the kingdom of Forensia. The king thought that this could not be true one of the king’s enemies must have sent the senile man to employ a stratagem of deceit. So he sat there and lost all concern over the matter and continued to anxiously wait for the news of his two son’s well being. Days passed on from the night that Bath Kol wandered into the king’s chamber and finally a messenger burst in and told his king that his son’s have amassed another victory in his name and that all was well with them. The king became pleased at the sound of this and was finally able to relax. Now the son’s of Vladimar performed many conquests in his name by the age of 36. With this also came quite a reputation for the both of them. Prince Vechi was renowned for his tactics in battle and his politics at home. Many people felt he would make a great king some day. Tanar on the other hand was feared by many. There were even reports of cults being formed in Tanar’s name. His following grew and grew until it became almost like his own church. His people believed him to be a god who walked among men. Tanar was impressed by his following and loved being worshiped he felt that the whole country should praise him as their god. Tanar’s head grew bigger and bigger until one day he finally did acted on his ambitions to be the ruler of Appia. He organized a coupe with some of his loyal officers and soldiers who were also followers in his church. The plan was to recruit as many palace guards still loyal to his father as possible and kill the rest off, while at the same time murdering his own father and claiming the throne. The plan went off without a hitch although he did not have enough man power to hold the palace and was forced to retreat up to the northern mountain provinces of Appia. Then the lines were drawn many of the people and soldiers still stayed loyal to their new king, Vechi. Most of the people that joined Tanar joined him out of either fear because they thought he was too powerful for Vechi to conquer, or because they believed that Tanar was a god in human form. He amassed quite an army but it was still no where as big as Vechi’s standing army that remained with him. They were extremely cautious none the less because they knew that Tanar was extraordinarily powerful. Tanar’s section of Appia was mainly the northern territories and Vechi held strong onto the rest of Appia. Vechi was even a compassionate man when it came to men of Tanar’s he captured. He had every right to behead every man who assisted in the slaughter of his people and were accomplices to the murder of his father but he didn’t. Vechi instead sent them to the desert wasteland prison of Pamant. Now Tanar was again the complete opposite. Every follower of Vechi he could find, even women and children, would be taken back to the Temple of Sacrifice where he would impale them onto stakes. People that have seen the temple during this time say that it looked like a forest of the dead, there were thousands maybe even tens of thousands of impaled bodies dripping blood onto the once green earth in the valley. The battles between the brothers for control of Appia only waged on for a few years. By the time they turned 42 the war would finally come to an end. One day while Vechi was planning their next offensive to further close off Tanar and his men from having anywhere to go, as of now they were pushed back to surrounding areas of the temple. During the planning process one of Vechi’s scouts came rushing towards him saying that Tanar has almost finished construction on the Temple of Sacrifice and that it would be finished within the week. Also that it isn’t just another temple, the scout informed Vechi, that it was a place to summon upon Avian and resurrect him back into this world to annihilate Appia along with the rest of Galerius. Upon hearing this Vechi knew there was only one thing to do charge the temple and kill his brother before he can bring the most horrid thing the world has known back into it. So Vechi told the commanders to assemble their legions so they could march for the temple. The army left much behind and carried very little food since time was of the essence and many men believed they would not return home anyways. Vechi and his army congregated outside of the temples perimeter where they seen all of Tanar’s army massed in front of the temple. Tanar was well informed that his brother was coming to the temple but he did not care. Very soon the ritual will be complete and he and Avian will be as one when he invokes Avian’s spirit into his body. Vechi organized his soldiers into their ranks and gave the order to attack Tanar’s army. Vechi’s army although lightly equipped were ripping through Tanar’s army. Vechi found this quit odd since Tanar himself was so powerful that he has been known to take on one hundred men alone and come out the victor. So Vechi scanned the battle field to look for his brother who was no where to be found. He realized that Tanar’s army was not here to vanquish Vechi’s army but to buy Tanar some time to invoke Avian’s spirit. Upon noticing this feint done by Tanar, Vechi assembled his best commanders and stormed through the lines on their horses and broke through to the temple. Vechi and his men fought the guards outside the temple and then proceeded to enter it where they slew more of Tanar’s top guards until they busted into the center of the sanctuary where they found Tanar. The ritual was not yet complete but it was close enough a big part of Avian’s power had already entered Tanar and made him much stronger then he already was. Vechi did not care he was reminded of the day he lost his father and charged his brother alone. The fight seemed to linger on for hours but it lasted minutes. On any other day Vechi would have never struck down Tanar but today Vechi was the better man. He slew Tanar on the altar where the ritual was being held. Upon doing so Vechi called for his high priests who sealed away the part of Avian’s soul that was called to this world into the dark black armor and sealed it away deep in the Temple of Sacrifice with Tanar’s body still remaining inside the armor. The temple was also condemned and no soul was allowed entry onto the hollowed ground or anywhere near the land. Some who have patrolled the land say that even today the land there is stained red with the blood of those that were impaled and killed during the conflict which happened on this once beautiful land. Little by little Appia started to return to its former glory. Some land was lost due to the conflict within Appia but it still remained a rather large country. Many of Tanar’s followers were rounded up and sent to Pamant to spend the remainder of their lives. While some either fled Appia or assimilated back into society as followers of Vechi. There were rumors that many cults still exist throughout Galerius not just in Appia. Also King Vechi bore himself a son whom he called Auriel… Auriel will be the main character of my story. It will follow his trials and tribulations as the Prince of Appia and the curse that was put upon his family by Avian’s death. Auriel will be framed for the death of his father and mother by Taran’s son Appolyon Tynate whom no one knew existed since Valerie Tynate was one of the people who fled after Taran’s demise. Apollyon enters Appia’s military academy and becomes the youngest top general in the history of Appia. He is only underneath King Vechi and Prince Auriel who shuns away from learning the military arts which is why Apollyon becomes the top general through much studying and training and proving himself in combat. He frames Auriel for the murders and assumes the throne all while acting as Auriel’s friend. Auriel escapes from custody and flees Appia to search for his father’s murderer only to find out it was his best friend who is his cousin. Auriel is now quested with conquering Apollyon and stopping him from reviving Avian.

“Character list and descriptions”

1) Audric Forensia- Fought sword to sword with Avian the dark lord. Also was the founder of Appia or the “Kingdom of Forensia”.
2) Avian- Also known as the dark lord. Not much is known about Avian except he was some sort of demon. No one knows where he came from. Only thing known was his power was vast and created armies of the undead not to bring man into extinction but to suppress them and enslave them. He ruled when men had no land of their own and was basically nomadic tribes.
3) Vladimar Forensia- Father of Vechi and Tanar. Great descendent of Audric. Also was a king of Appia before dying at his own son’s hand.
4) Vechi Forensia- Son of Vladimar, oldest twin brother of Tanar. Bearer of the gold armor. Fought for control of Appia after his brother Tanar killed Vladimar their father. Future king of Appia and father of the main character Auriel. Killed by Tanar’s unknown son named Apollyon.
5) Tanar Forensia- Son of Vladimar, youngest twin brother of Vechi. Bearer of the dark black armor. He murdered his own father. Tried to resurrect Avian in the “Temple of Salvation”. Was struck down by Vechi before the process could be fully completed. Father of Apollyon.
6) Bath Kol- Shaman from the holy land of Nas’Regul. Had the premonition about the upcoming civil war in Appia and also the tried and failed resurrection of Avian by Tanar. Warned the king of Appia and told him to banish his own son and seal him away before Galerius would be destroyed.
7) Auriel Forensia- Main character of our story- Son of Vechi Forensia. Bearer of the gold armor till it gets stripped of him. Framed for killing his father and mother by Apollyon. Sets out on a journey to find out his real fathers killer after escaping from Appia’s desert prison. Ends up fighting Avian and banishing him from the world again.
8) Apollyon Tynte- Son of Tanar. Takes the last name of his mother Valerie Tynte. She informs him as a young boy of how she was fortunate enough to bear the son of a demi-god, being Tanar. He left his town in a country outside of Appia to join Appia’s military academy. He excelled there do to his intelligence and strength. At the age of 22 he became the youngest general of Appia’s army and was underneath Prince Auriel in the order of succession to the throne. Framed Auriel for the death of the king and queen and assumed control of the throne. Attempts to fulfill his father’s quest to revive Avian. Seeks and controls the dark black armor which Avian’s soul was sealed in.
9) Valerie Tynte- Mother of Apollyon. Was a follower of Tanar’s when the country of Appia was in civil war. She bore a child of his. When Tanar fell Valerie fled to Terut a small country on the outskirts of Appia where she gave birth to Apollyon. She fled in fear that Vechi would take her life for being with Tanar. She raised him in his father’s image and instructed him in the teachings of the dark ways then sent him to Appia as a boy to join the military academy there and infiltrate Appia.

Again this is just the story and characters as of now. There is much more to the story. I just want peoples opinions on it so far and what they think before i go really far into developing it. All of it is subject to change but thats the basic idea of what happened previous to the charecter entering the story who will go through the same thing his father went through in the aspect he seen his father murdered and it is the curse placed upon his family that he must break. Also note on the character names i took alot of time and spent much thought on them example : Vechi means older and Tanar means younger in roman dialect. Audric is an angel referred to as the light of god and Auriel is an angel that is the sword of god. Apollyon is the demon in the book of revelations that will bring forth the plagues and destruction to the world. Anyways if you read please comment I just want to know if im getting somewhere with this and if people would be interested in reading the full story I also have great ideas for gameplay not just my story! Thank you so much for your time!

I don't mean to be a prick or anything, but learning how to paragraph and use line spaces well will help people help you.

Just some constructive criticism. The backstory telegraphs much of what happens as soon as the newborn princes armor color choices are made. Outside of gory violence, there doesn't seem to be much of that adult theme you are after. Where are the conflicted goals? the moral ambiguity? the difficult choices?

If the main character Auriel Forensia doesn't want to follow in his ancestrial footsteps by killing his father. Then why muck it up by haveing him framed for killing dear old dad right from the start?

I mean right there is a perfectly workable starting point for an adult themed game. Give the player every reason not to kill dad, and give them every reason why they should kill dad. Let the player make the call, and don't pussyfoot the reasons for/against killing father (players life isn't the only thing at risk). Fill the game with such difficult and costly choices...Then you will find you won't need gory violence or even good/evil gods, magic and other PRG cliches to make it interesting.

Its all good about the criticism i enjoy hearing what people think. Like I said this is just my story right now and is subject to change. I mean what i think does matter but not if anyone would be interested in it but me. To the paragraph thing it was properly done in microsoft word. Sorry it is hard to read.

Now about the whole theme stuff. I give the background story because I mean I cant create a story without thinking what existed in my world before my actual story. Where did my characters background come from. Why is he the way that he is. I feel it helps to develope differences in my characters so they are not all the same person with different names and faces. And Auriel does not kill his father Apollyon does. Now about Auriel himself I envision him as a boy who is smart and skilled with the sword but does not accept his place as a prince. He wants to be like any other boy and wants to see the world. Now because he is framed for the death he will be sent to Pamat Prison area which ill explain at some point. On the ride over there or at some point he flees custody from help from a man who i see as being his mentor. Auriel flees to a neighboring country to evade capture. From there he goes on a quest to find who the real killer is. Finds who it is. Tries to stop him. Tries to stop Avians resurrection. Avian is revived and then it becomes a struggle to free his land from the grip of the dark lord and save Galerius from going back to the dark ages of when avian existed. Now at the start of my game Auriel believes he cant be a king, he doesnt want to be a king. He doesnt want the responsibilty of ruling a nation. So he covers that stress up by just trying to have fun and shying away from his princely duties. Along the way he starts to believe in himself and sees the point of responsibilty to not only himself but to country. Basically the progression you see is from a insecure man to a man who believes in himself and learns what it means to be king. I mean there are moral choices and problems i can think of like this main one The prince who doesnt believe he could be king and dreams of being a normal boy a farmer in the field and shys away from his duties to become a man thats the complete opposite. I just wanted to give my basic story right now not too extensive. So thank you for your advice it helps me build my story thank you again.