Hi. The problem I'm not native english speaker, but I wanna make my game text as smooth as possible. Please help me make texts smooth... How to play Open doors to move forward through maze Collect golden keys One key opens one door Choose your way carefully, if you haven't enough keys, you become lost in the maze If you lost, you may try level again. Select in-game menu and choose 'Try again' Try another path. Good luck!

Quote: Original post by alex_raider
Hi.
The problem I'm not native english speaker, but I wanna make my game text as smooth as possible. Please help me make texts smooth...

How to play

Open doors
to move
forward through
maze
Collect golden keys
One key opens
one door
Choose your way
carefully,
if you haven't
enough keys,
you become lost
in the maze
If you lost,
you may try
level again.
Select in-game menu
and choose
'Try again'
Try another path.
Good luck!

Hello!
I'll have an attempt.

How to Play:

Open doors to move foward through the maze. Collect golden keys: Each key opens one door. Choose your way carefully; if you haven't enough keys, you will become lost in the maze! If you become stuck, you may try the level again. Select "Try again" from the in-game menu, and try another path.

Good luck!

I hope this helps you, and I attempted to keep with the original tone as much as possible.

Wow, that was very well done. I might have changed "haven't enough keys" to "don't have enough keys," but that does remove some of the tone.

So, I'll simply second Delphinus's response (and rate++ him for the slew of excellent posts in these fora).

Quote: Original post by Delphinus
***snip-snip***
I hope this helps you, and I attempted to keep with the original tone as much as possible.

Thank you very much for your help! This really helps me.
I forgot to mention one thing. You quite not forced to keep "original tone", because I not set any "tone", I just off from that :) I just wrote minimal set of phrases looking for me correct. Why I asking help? My english "too technical", I asking for literary proofreading...

Here another piece, much harder for me than previous one :)
Can you review it? Please.


Congratulations!
You have completed
the game!
..Brave Dany
saved the princess
and returned her
to the magic land

Gwerk was exiled
to the far, far
mountains...

Milena and Dany
married,
and live long
in hapiness..

But that's is not
end of our story!

Play the sequel of Dany adventures!

Looks good, but change:

and live long
in hapiness..

to

and lived long and happily ever after

not sure about happily though. May be just 'happy'.

Let's try this!

"Congratulations! You have completed the game!"

"Brave Dany saved the princess and returned her to the magic land."
This one is tough, because I don't know enough about the game. Can you tell us a little bit about the magic lands?
"Brave Dany saved the princess and returned her to her own land." or
"Brave Dany saved the princess and returned her to the magical lands."

"Gwerk was exiled to the farthest mountains..."

"Milena and Dany married and lived long and happy lives..."

"But our story doesn't end there! Play the sequel to Dany's adventures!"