DONE EDITING THE STORY. iF A MOD COULD DELETE THIS PLEASE. [Edited by - gonative4 on October 8, 2007 3:01:33 AM]

I'm sorry if I seem a bit critical in the following rant, if you disagree with me feel free to say so, because I would like to figure out exactly where we may be in disagreement

Your story seems very generic, and has unbearable likeness to any number of already existing RPGs, and countless other ideas for RPGs posted on this forum alone.

I feel that there is nothing to distinguish it from the generic plot present in countless games and ideas; kingdom falls due to death of good king, evil takes over, evil is 'bound' for x years, now you <enter generic fantasy name> a mere lad of 17 must save the kingdom once more!

now, if you appreciate the fact that your setting and storyline appear to be very generic, and you are satisfied that this may well be the case, furthermore if you are still enthusiastic about the setting and storyline, you should try to develop this.

I would like to believe that you are capable of creating something that would at least in my opinion be more interesting.

if you're considering changing your setting and storyline, here are a few things I would definitely like to see:

I personally would be very pleased if people could try to think of settings slightly different to medieval/fantasy and sci-fi with blue aliens and laser-blasters

As well as this I would like to see some moral ambiguity. I'm all for conflict, as in all honesty an RPG without conflict is somewhat dull, however it would be great to see something other than a generically 'evil' trying to oppress 'good'. I'd like to see development beyond 'evil = black leather coat', in fact, why not make the conflict be between two forces, neither of which is inherently evil or good? *gasp*

that's my 2 cents.

I would have to agree with firemonk3y. There is nothing that really distinguishes your idea from any other RPG. Without any depth I can't really see it ever turning into a mmorpg.

I do agree that it is very generic. A common mistake is for someone to have an idea and write it down on paper immediatley without any revision. Cleches are cleches because they are usually the first ideas anyone comes up with. The story definitley needs some major tweeking. Right now you have a striaght bar of story, just take it and bend it in a few places.

Another thing to think about is, your story kind of just trails off in the end. I'm reading about jelousy between brothers and all of the sudden it's 476 years later and the contry is a war zone. That part almost completley void's the back-story. A lot happens in 476 years, in any real life situation, far to many events would have occured at that time to influence the countries direction.

On a better note, it almost has a semi-shaksperian flow to it and I think you should stick with the concept. Just try not to have it so generic.

EDIT: I just saw that this is "going" to be an MMORPG. Please try to make your goals reasonable if you are going to post on this site. Also, I belive you made this statment August 4th

Quote: Original post by gonative4
hey everybody, i have made this thread to tell you about the mmorpg that i am making called fantasy wars.

I rest my case...

yes i do realize that i made that post. Lords of arenia is just a changed up version of an old game i was working on.