Justice slowly followed dirt path overgrown with the beautiful blossoms of webbing weeds and overgrown grass, each struggling for sunlight. A gentle breeze swept across his fatigued face and carried with it the scent of memories hidden deep below his surface. The overgrowth proved only one thing, no one had followed this path for a long while. But that was how he wanted it

This was his shrine. Each step brought him closer. With every inch, emotions once forgotten beneath a strong facade crept further past his realm of natural control screaming for escape.

This was his freedom. Each step brought him closer. With every inch, the memories of yesterdays passed aggressively built upon one another reaching for realization. Memories straining for the hope that today they'd be granted an audience with their master.

This was his confinement. Each step brought him closer. And the closer he came, the weaker he felt. His once defined structure was deteriorating from this struggle for internal control. As he reached the solitary stone thickly covered with dust, the smell old fears proved to be the final pull for release. His eyes, now filled with tears from emotions forcefully hidden within his core, were tightly shut. And the memories, now granted an audience, were playing on the inside of his eyelids, a film of hidden Hope, hidden joys and hidden pains.

Now weakened beyond his limits, Justice fell to his knees in front of the stone and reaching out; he wiped each letters chipped surface leaving them streaked with tears and dust.

He read each word aloud as they were passed praying that this external acknowledgement would at least slow the ferocity of his hidden past. But it was to no avail. The memory of her death was as haunting now as it ever was - playing a thousand times a day, removing from him his ability to sleep or even to think without being reminded of his failures.

"I failed you." He placed his hands next to the dirt streaked stone to support his failing frame. "I failed you Hope. It should've been me." These words, frail and filled with regret, echoed in the void between his heart and her headstone causing him to realize even more how much he had grown to miss her.

Giving in to his faltering condition, Justice laid his head next to the stone, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

  I think a little explanation for the names may be appropriate.  While - they aren't 'stuck' in place - I thought it may prove to be an interesting backstory (not to mention overtone)of how Justice always fought and travelled with Hope.  And how, after Hope was gone, Justice had a difficult time raising their daughter - who isn't known to be the 'real' daughter of Justice until later in the story.    Which brings me to my next question:  If the names Justice and Hope stayed, what would you name their offspring?  Patience maybe - But my wife says that the only word that relates to both Justice and Hope is 'Blind.'  And I don't think that Blind would carry any sort of seriousness (Which is a requirement for her part in the story).-Xyphyx  

Quote: Justice slowly followed dirt path overgrown with

  Mathmo - Thanks for the reply.  And yeah - I forgot to type 'the' into the opening sentance (I'm a dork!).  But, I'm looking for almost any criticism as it all should help me write the rest of the story.    As for the scene - I figured it would be an in game cut scene (FMV for the old-schoolers) of Justices return to his deceased wife/girlfriends grave for the first time in a long time.  The back story being that Justices daughter (I guess Patience - for now) has been kidnapped - this being the inciting incident.  And Justice is now returning to Hopes grave (Patience' mother) to tell her.    After he falls asleep the internal struggles he's been going through will be shown by a group of mazes the player fights through and being forced to confront and admit/aknowledge his true feelings.  Feelings he's been hidingfrom those around him - which have actually caused his friends to leave priorto this scene.  I've been really struggling on trying to move the story away from general RPG style story shortcuts. IE - the hero - Justice - isn't the only person capable of saving his daughter;  He's just the only one who cares.    I don't know if I'm making much sense right now.  But Thanks again for the respons(es).-Xyphyx