First thing - your composition is really nice! I enjoyed it!

Now to what you talked about: the performance is a bit too perfect. I would go through and add some some slight variances in pitch as well as timing. Even pros don't play perfectly in tune or in time all of the time. I would look through for ways that the entire ensemble can become more humanistic in their performance. 

Perhaps they speed up slightly as they crescendo up to a climatic point? Perhaps a few notes are slightly out of tune? Perhaps the higher range notes are a bit more brash. All of these things are realities of even professional players. For example, the harp/string/winds ostinatos are played very evenly and this makes it feel way too polished for real players.