Zeldiah: Time of War

Gamer11 · 2007-05-20T13:12:26

Zeldiah: Time of War Game type Computer Rpg(role playing game)/action Story A planet named zeldiah, which means planet of now, is at a crisis against to species named Pallidins and Cozmos. For a long time these planets have been mortal enemies. They are at war because the cosmos also known as the warlords are trying to dominate all living things there, but the Pallidins are the peacemakers. But they no choice but to fight back to protect them from the evil the cozmos will do to them. Lucky, the pallidins find an alley named humans. The humans landed there because it became too deadly to live on earth, so they had to leave with multiple spacecrafts trying to find new place to call home. But unfortunately some of the ships got lost and separated and landed on the planet zeldiah. So the paladins promised to help them find the separated groups if they helped them fight in the war. Humans Background: the human species have lived on earth many centuries, but the liking conditions became to dyer to live on from the heat form global warming and much other pollution. So they developed an idea to search for new life. So they created many spacecrafts to carry the people. Ad they departed earth and went to search for new life. Many years pass and many of the ships get lost from disagreement and encountering obstacles on the way. So one group of humans on a spacecraft called berce. Finally they find a place to land called zeldiah. They land there and come to meet a alien life called Pallidins. They quickly make friends with them and learn there ways of life and how to live on this new planet. Pallidins then tell about a conflict between them and the cosmos. They tell them how they are mad with power and killed many hopeless aliens. And How they where smart to stay away from them. But they new it wasn’t long till they would find them. So they had to fight back or there whole life would be destroyed. So the pallidins made a deal with the humans if they helped them fight the cosmos and win; they would help them find there separated groups. Setting: a space center and outside planet Special: high tech Weapons: laser swords, variety of laser guns, arm attachments (come with guns, swords, and more) Vehicles: motorcycles and cars Pets: outside aliens Armor: futuristic looking knight suits, clothing, and high tech protection Physical features: do I really have to answer that Cozoms Background: The whole cozmos life style has been cruel and unjust one. They are known as the warlords since they are always mad with power and ruled by a dictator named Verda. He has commanded the cozmos To capture all living species and if they resist kill them. They have ruled and wiped out about all of the living species, but one named the palldins. They lost track of them for a while, but finally found where they lived but they where. They planning war on the pallidins and their new alleys named humans. Setting: big kingdom; empire and outside land Special: strength Weapons: giant swords, axes, spears, and other metal weapons Vehicles: aliens Pets: aliens Armor: old knight armor Physical traits: big; strong, no eyes, two arms and legs, three fingers and toes, and big mouth with a bunch of sharp teeth Pallidins Background: palldins are known for there spirt and magic powers they have. They have the ability to talk to any species, heal, resurrect any species, and more. But all of this was disturbed by a species called cozmos. This deadly kind has destroyed all of there alleys and friend of different species. But they have been smart to stay away from the cozmos, but I wasn’t to long in till they found them. So they are forced to fight back and declare war. They have also met a new alley named humans. They said they where a gift from pozo, their god. They soon make friends with them and hear that they need help finding there separated groups when they had to leave there home land named earth. They said they would help them if they helped them in the fight against the cozmos. They hope to defeat them and find a more peaceful place. Setting: huts/tents and outside land Special: magic Weapons: spells Vehicles: wings Pets: aliens Armor: sprit metal armor and clothing Physical traits: tall, skinny, symbol on, two arms, two legs, four fingers, 5 toes Point of game Level up, get new gear, create and live new character, and fight in war

Writing for Games Game Design

Started by Gamer11 May 13, 2007 06:51 PM

27 comments, last by Thanatos M5 17 years, 3 months ago

Saruman

4,339

May 18, 2007 02:54 PM

Quote: Original post by Gamer11
This is a scetch of one of the enemies

Hey! :( That looks almost exactly like the concept for Dildoman in my game :(

gumpy

795

May 18, 2007 06:18 PM

Quote: Original post by Saruman
Quote: Original post by Gamer11
This is a scetch of one of the enemies

Hey! :( That looks almost exactly like the concept for Dildoman in my game :(

I was thinking popsicle sticks...

This space for rent.

Gamer11

Author

100

May 18, 2007 08:19 PM

Quote: Original post by Thanatos M5
You must remember that all madmen do not consider themselves to be madmen, and that all madmen in power are drastically outnumbered by the neurotypical population. So, that said, I would expect the people to initiate an uprising against Emperor Trigon; with their reputation spurning Palladin aggression (not to mention the lack of a Palladin breadbasket territory), a twofold war, against the people and the Palladin armies, would probably bring the Empire under Trigon down faster than you could count to three.

In other words, don't create a black-and-white good vs. evil story. Convey the mentality that the Cozoms really don't want to destroy the Palladins, but their mad leader has driven them into a disastrous war. As for the Palladins, they justify their Cozom-like imperialism with the message of promoting freedom and justice, but who is the villain and who is the hero?

Your right! Now you've changed the way I look at the story and read it. Can you give me some tips on writhing down stories and make them sound more intersting.

Thanatos M5

164

May 18, 2007 09:50 PM

Again, I don't intend to be blunt, but your writing technique isn't that great. First of all, I'd try working on vocabulary and grammar - they're what make a story readable and entertaining for the target audience. Second of all, spelling counts. The part of your original post where you described the situation on Earth as 'dyer' rather than 'dire' sent my feelings about the original story into a nosedive, for example.

Third, this is NOT a design document - leave your 'laser swords' (impossible by definition), 'futuristic-looking knight suits' (what the hell is a knight suit, anyway?), and 'arm attachments' (gaming cliche at this point) out of a story post. Once the story is done and you assemble a team, they will ASK you for design documents. Before then, features and weapons are completely irrelevant.

Gamer11

Author

100

May 18, 2007 09:52 PM

Quote: Original post by Thanatos M5
Again, I don't intend to be blunt, but your writing technique isn't that great. First of all, I'd try working on vocabulary and grammar - they're what make a story readable and entertaining for the target audience. Second of all, spelling counts. The part of your original post where you described the situation on Earth as 'dyer' rather than 'dire' sent my feelings about the original story into a nosedive, for example.

Third, this is NOT a design document - leave your 'laser swords' (impossible by definition), 'futuristic-looking knight suits' (what the hell is a knight suit, anyway?), and 'arm attachments' (gaming cliche at this point) out of a story post. Once the story is done and you assemble a team, they will ASK you for design documents. Before then, features and weapons are completely irrelevant.

But did you read my new post of the story written better.