Tirial - All forms of writing fiction and a few of writing non-fiction are on-topic for this forum, it says so in the forum faq. (I know no one ever reads these things, but humor me.) Basically in order to be a good writer of computer games you have to be a good writer of fiction, so writing fiction is what we try to help each other learn about here.

What about this story is Anime-ish? Anime is just Japanese animation, not a specific type of story telling, or something like that. Unfortunately, the Japanese are doing something American film makers have forgotten how to do: USE ACTION TO COMPLEMENT THE STORY, INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND. A lot of movies these days have a weak story used to hold a bunch of good action scenes together. It''s as though the film makers said, "hey, I have some great ideas for some action scenes." Half way through filming they decide, "hey, maybe this movie needs a story to hold it together. And have you ever noticed I say hey a lot?" So they stick in little bits that communicate a story, and we end up with the Matrix, lots of great action scenes, and a mildly good story, communicated in a terrible way. Anime, on the other hand, often seems to focus on the story element, and less on the action, because there aren''t really "special effects" in the drawing of cartoons. Therefore you get a great story, with not much action, or if there is action, it usually falls drastically short of what could be found in something like The Matrix. I wish our American film makers could take a lesson from the Japanese, because I''m tired of watching a bunch of action scenes thrown together and called a movie.

Anyway, I really would like to read this as a novel, so my question is, why haven''t you started writing yet, and if you have, how is it going?

quote: Original post by RichardMV
Anyway, I really would like to read this as a novel, so my question is, why haven''t you started writing yet, and if you have, how is it going?

Do you know, you''re the first person other than my sister to say you want to read the book? Thank you, that''s very encouraging. ^_^ Okay, I have not started writing it yet. Why? Well... multiple reasons.

First, the last time I tried to write a novel I had big huge problems because I did not have a good plot outline before I started, so this time I''m trying to make myself outline the plot first. It isn''t going very well. I have a list of things I definitely want to happen, and another list of things that migth be cool, but I''m not having much success stringing these beads to make a necklace. (That''s usually how I picture assembling plot, with each scene being a bead and I have a dish of them and have to put them on a string in some nice order.)

Second, I''ve kind of gotten stuck making things happen with magic rather than my preferred science fiction; since I never planned to write fantasy and I haven''t read that much of it, and I just don''t think in fantasy terms, I''m having a difficult time working a magic system into my world-building.

And finally, I originally wanted to write a story about a threesome with the three characters I described above, because love triangles have such fun and interesting dynamics to write, but the more I think about it, the more I think I need to add a fourth character, because I think I need to have a true dominant to balance Attranath''s being a true submissive. But that gives me two couples, which is much less interesting than a threesome. >.<


I am making progress at getting these problems sorted out, it''s just much too slow of a process for my taste.

Well, I''m willing to help with your book, that''s why I''m here. So, if you''ll just post anything you''re having difficulty with, I''d love to give you advise. Anyway, I am a fantasy writer with a first draft about three chapters from being done (you have inspired me to at least think about posting my own story here), so I may be of help with fantasy elements. Also, if you really want to have a threesome, perhaps we can come up with an idea together by brainstorming. It''s really surprising how many great ideas can be created by two people working together.

About your outlining idea: outlining is good for some people, but I feel that it is easier for me to write well when I have a very broad outline, in which much of the story comes from myself deciding how my characters would react to a situation as they come up. Usually I have an idea in my head as to where the characters will get, but interesting ideas suddenly will manifest themselves in my writing. I find that this tactic keeps my story interesting not only for the reader, but also for me. Just an idea.

I hope to see more of your ideas soon.

____________________________________________________________

official Necromancer of GameDev forums Game Writing section

(God I hate this college with a passion... but anyway, here I type again)

SnS, if you listen to me only once, I think this one would be the right time.

I cant recommend you enough the Anita Blake novels by Laurell K Hamilton, or her newer series about Princess Meredith.

I really couldnt be arsed retyping all my post AGAIN as I just spent half an hour on it and it''s gone, so I am not gonna retype for half an hour just to be ignored. So if you want more info, I suggest you try looking up the website. Or you can email me and I ll explain in length why I think you could really use the read

In short, the author, a woman, explores very deeply the sexuality and the love relationships of her protagonists. "Menage a trois", sub/dom relationship, the dilemma of chosing between love and sexual attraction, and various other wonderful things are explored. I am pretty sure if you want to see a really interesting example of "how to do it", those novels are it.

Anyway

Sancte Isidore ora pro nobis !

Thank you both for your kind offers.

Hmm... the part I need help with most is the plot, but I''m not sure how to verbalize either what I already have or what problems need solved in a way that would make any sense to anybody but myself. >.< But, let me give it a try...

1) I need to think of a political situation to be going on in the background of the story world. I _don''t_ want this to be someone threatening to take over or end the world. This is _not_ a save the world story, it''s a romance and a bildungsroman (coming-of-age-and-finding-one''s-place-in-the-world). I don''t want to write about people getting killed. A political coup or bloodless power struggle might be good, or something else entirely. If possible, the resolution of this situation should result in beta males becoming more integrated/accepted into society.

This would be where my fourth character, the true dominant (his name is Ravennin) comes in: he''s an ambitious visionary leader type so he needs to have some big compelling goal to struggle towards. Preferably something that he needs the other three characters to help him accomplish. Particularly, Ravennin should want Lieann''s aid for the reason that Lieann is a tactical genius, despite the fact that as a beta male he is inelegible to attend the military academy where Merru was constructed and Attranath is a cadet.


2) I need to think of assignments and exercises for my cadets to do. These must serve the purpose of showing the struggle to find a workable balance in the relationship between Merru and Attranath. Need opportunities for Merru to save Attranath''s butt and Attranath to look flushed with victory. This also needs to provide offortunities to characterize the other troop members, especially in their comic aspects.


3) I need to think of a sufficiently dramatic way for Merru to end up temporarily in Lieann''s possession - either Merru (maybe or maybe not Attranath also) is captured (why and how?) or Merru is ordered to seduce or guard Lieann (why and by whom?). It would be great to have an abrupt power reversal, e.g. the location is captured and suddenly everyone who was in charge is now a political prisoner.



Anyway, if you can come up with suggestions for any of that I will be grateful. And meanwhile, I''ll share some more of my worldbuilding ideas. ^_^


Soulbreeds - A construct is essentially a biological robot imbued with an animal''s soul/mind. Merru started out as a human animal, but most constucts stary out as some species of animal native to the dragons'' planet. Constructs are tagged according to this ''soulbreed'' so that their dragon handlers will have a general idea of how they can expected to behave. Dog constructs act like dogs, cat constructs act like cats, etc. Merru is at first mis-identified as a parrot because he is attempting to speak by imitating dragons, much like a parrot would.

Now, dragons don''t have animal soul/minds, but they do have soulbreeds - for a dragon a soulbreed is like a personality type or an astrological sign. (Hey baby, what''s your soulbreed? You look like a fox to me! ^_~ ) I would imagine Attranath is a dog or a horse, Ravennin a lion or a bull, Lieann a fox or a snake... who knows about Merru if he''s not a parrot. Maybe a monkey. Anyway dragons tend to use this totemic symbolism in making jewelry, choosing costumes for a holiday about soulbreeds, and coming up with visual themes for their ornamental body paint.

Dragons don''t wear a whole lot of clothing - the summer uniform for a military construct is only a loincloth/shorts. Instead they''re like some african tribes, they put on body paint for parties (and also wrap wires into their crest feathers). One outgrowth of this custom is the handprint party. This is basically an orgy where each person is given an ink pad of a different color, and you have to do some sexual favor to earn a handprint from them, and you try to get handprints of every color all over your body by the end of the evening. Sound like fun? Merru thinks so, especially since he''s much in demand when a beta male throws a male-only one of these. ^_~ One of these parties is where Merru first meets Ravennin, I think.

Well, s/s - I gotta say I can''t wait to read the book. You''ve certainly gotten my attention! Anyways, while the gay stuff could certainly be hard to accept for some people, I''m pretty sure your characters will make it work. You''ve already got me liking all three of them and would like nothing more than for them to end up together (all three) happily. I can''t wait to see all the character development you put into this!!

Curious to see how Rav. fits in. Needs their help and respects them... but maybe a little put off by their relationship?

Still can''t picture the dragons - don''t know why... It''ll help to have a better idea of how our ex-human looks.

Geez, you''re looking for some nice answers to your three questions, there.

For the first...
Glad nobody wants to take over the world. It''s way overrated, anyways. For the coming of age part - who, in particular? I assume all the (main) characters will have individual growth, but are you going to focus on one in particular as the ''main'' character or just do all three?

Speaking of which... what point of view will this be written from...? If you said it already, I must have missed it. I skimmed one of the posts (hey, its late... )

Anyways, your second question will greatly depend on your solution to the first. If their is a coup attempt or serious power struggle in the works... then its not too hard - Rav. can be the one seriously contending, and Lieann provide some of the tactics behind it. Presumably, Attranath can get himself into some sort of trouble (picking the wrong side, ending up in the middle of something, making a bad decision) and Merru can help him out, endearing the two of them to Lieann, and Lieann to Rav.

The third... lets see... Well, with a power struggle going on, Merru could (again) easily end up in the middle of a very tense situation, possibly save Att. in some respect, and get himself sort of ''rescued'' (more of a motive/opportunity combination) by Lieann... and work from there.

An abrupt and surprise (even to the reader... or maybe some intense dramatic irony) would be great. Talk about turning the tables. Great opportunity to introduce change to the characters and see how they react under stress.

I''m still not sure how (really, why) all the construct stuff works.

MAN! Or, maybe, woman, I can''t wait to hear more about this.

You rock, s/s...

You''d better start writing! I want to read this!

-George

Thank you very much! ^_^ Actually, I did start writing - about six paragraphs of handprint party which logically should go in the middle of the book, not the beginning, but it's something.



POV - I don't think I said. I intend to write in first person from Merru's POV, with lots of introspection and internal dialogue, for some of the chapters. From this you can probably tell that Merru is intended to be the main character, although Attranath is probably the one who does the most coming-of-age during the story. The other chapters will either be in first or close third from the POVs of assorted other characters, definitely including Bannis, Attranath, Lieann, Ravennin, and some random beta-males. Haven't decided whether Kayden needs a chapter yet. Or one of Lieann or Ravennin's relatives, perhaps. But no matter whose eyes we are looking through at ant given momen, the subject of that character's thoughts will always be one or more of the main four characters, and the book should focus about equally on them.



What is a construct? Well, have you ever read the myth or Pygmalion and Galatea? It's asically like that. Dragons have magic of some sort, and they used to keep other dragons as slaves, and one day (hundreds of years before the present time of the story) somebody sculpted a beautiful dragon and brought it to life by calling an animal's soul to inhabit the body. I was thinking of doing the Ursula K LeGuin think of writing little myths from the culture I'm creating and putting them in between some of the chapters; this myth of the creation of the first construct would be one, the first beta female would be another, and probably some about some of the main characters' totem-animals, and the holidays that happen during the course of the book.



What do the dragons look like? Well, Lieann looks something like these:
Clicky 1
Clicky 2

The alpha males would have featherless wings with no webbing either, broader shoulders, etc. And for all of the dragons, instead of hair there should be cockatoo-like crests.


How does Ravennin fit in? Well he is a true dominant, and probably a little bit of a sadist, while Attranath is a true submissive and a bit of a masochist, so I would imagine there would be an interesting and intense dynamic between them, which they probably both resist since Attranath is in love with Merru when he meets Ravennin... (I think...) Ravennin and Lieann are both full nobility, so there's probably a bit of a power struggle between them. And Ravennin will be puzzled by Merru, at first inclined to either feel threatened by or contemptuous of him, so he'll have to observe Merru for a while before he decides to respect him. For Merru's part, he isn't sure he trusts Ravennin not to hurt Lieann and Attranath, both of whom Merru is protective of. So the question is whether Ravennin is with Lieann before Merru and Attranath show up (not-so-happy arranged marriage for political reasons, perhaps?), and whether Ravennin eventually falls for Attranath or marries a female to start his dynasty, or what.


Edit: It occurrs to me that I had better explain that arranged marriage part some more. Now, Ravennin wants to be a powerful Dominion. To do this he has to have at least one submate that he can trust to delegate responsibilities to. But as a true dom, Ravennin had problems getting along with anyone else who is at all dominant, which includes most alpha males. So maybe a beta male was the only thing he could tolerate as a submate. But Lieann is not all that submissive himself, and not a masochist, so maybe Ravennin mis-estimated how well they would get along...

[edited by - sunandshadow on November 28, 2003 4:09:15 AM]