GroZZler - Lol. Well, that's okay, I _only_ like over-the-top science fiction and fantasy stuff, so I suppose we're even.

Normal = Boring, that's my motto

[edited by - sunandshadow on November 28, 2003 12:17:50 AM]

ACtually, the concept is used in Altered Carbon, a really cool sci fi novel that was released not so long ago.
They call the host body a "shard". It allows for faster than light travel, you simply leave your shard behind and get a new one where you land. You get pure human shards and you get cyber enhanced military grade shards, that sort of things Very cyberpunk concept.

Sancte Isidore ora pro nobis !

I must say, I look forward to seeing what has been writen here almost as much as I enjoy seeing my own posts.

As to your questions...

1. (political situation) I think a civil rights situation similar to what we went through in the sixties except for beta males might work well. The beta males are tired of the oppresion the sometimes feel from the higher up alpha males and wish to have all the rights of alpha males, including being in the army and holding a position of dominance (nobility). This could lead to Lieann being seriously involved in this, and Ravennin very much opposed. Attronath could be in the middle, which could lead to an interesting scene later (an argument between Lieann and Ravennin, where Attronath says a hearty "yeah!" to every thing said by either of them, and at the end he still doesn''t know where he stands on the issue). A rally of these beta males could march on the place where Attronath and Meru are staying, leading Attronath and Merru to meet up with Lieann, and Ravennin to meet all of them.

By the way, what about your minor villain, Kayden? You haven''t said much about him.

2. (assignments for cadets) Do the dragons have other powers besides making the constructs? These could play a part in the assignments. Having the rallies could lead to assignment possibilities, with putting down a rally, and perhaps even heading into the place where the movement is headed. This leads directly to number

3. (Lieann getting Meru) Attronath and Meru, perhaps among others, can get captured by the leaders of the movement, among whom is Lieann (he is a natural leader, after all). Perhaps you can have Meru getting captured because he tries to save Attronath, otherwise he could have gotten out safely. This could introduce Attronath''s feelings towawrd Meru at just the right time. Then comes Lieann, who instantly decides he wants Meru, in more ways than one...

I loved your pictures, because they are entirely different from how I imagined them. I didn''t see them as humanoid, which made things very interesting when I thought of the romance dynamic. Keep up the good work; I can''t wait to see more.

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official Necromancer of GameDev forums Game Writing section

Hmm, well the problems with a beta-male civil-rights movements are: 1) There aren''t enough beta males; they make up less than 1/10th of the population, and 2) I was never very interested in the various civil rights movements and wouldn''t enjoy writing rallys and things.

And no, I haven''t said much about Kayden because I haven''t thought much about him. The character I''ve been thinking about has been Ravennin. Remember I said that proto-dragons, particularly alpha males, were territorial and scent marked everything? And Ravennin as a true dom can''t get along with other alpha males? Well maybe he has a hormone/behavioral disorder, let''s call it hyper-dominance. He''s exactly what his society says an alpha male should be: a natural leader, decision maker, and fighter who will jealously defend his family and territory, and egotist who is magnetic and intimidating, and has a macho personality (often grouchy, never sad, main three emotional states are businesslike, amused, and annoyed.) And the problem is that modern dragon society, as I said, doesn''t have room for someone who is so strongly territorial. Particularly when along with that territoriality go berserker rages and jealousies.

What do I mean by ''berserker''? This is a trait observed in some humans, particularly from certain ethnic backgrounds such as Irish and German. A berserker is a person who ''snaps'' when they get angry; they have no rational control at these times and may feel as if they are watching themselves fight instead of actively, personally directing their actions. This is the sort of person, who, if they discovered their wife was having an affair, might murder the lover and possibly also the wife. This sort of person is often afraid of their own distructive potential because they know they can''t control it, may distance themselves from other people for fear of hurting them accidentally or because others are too great a source of the irritation that strains their fragile control. Feeling that they can''t control themselvees, this type of person may react by trying to control everything else and thus becoming a ''control freak''. When the term alpha-male is used to describe humans this is often the sort of human intended; they may also be referred to as ''neanderthals'' or ''cro-magnons''. You can see why the soulbreed symbolizing this type of personality would be a lion or a bull.

So, back to Ravennin. He knows it''s irrational, but he still just can''t stand other alpha males, and would find it difficult to socialize with one at all. So maybe he''s assigned to work with Lieann, because Ravennin can''t work with anyone else and no one else wants to work with Lieann. They don''t get along terribly well, because they annoy each other, but they can work together and have a grudging respect for each others'' abilities. Being constantly annoyed by Lieann is actually good for Ravennin because it helps him work on his emotional control. So maybe they have one of those ''love thy enemy'' stormy violent romances, where they screw violently, insult each other instead of saying endearments, and tend to bite instead of kiss. Ravennin being something of a sadist, this would have an almost addictive appeal for him, but he would be unhappy because how the hell did he end up screwing a beta male and what if people find out?! Lieann would feel just the opposite - proud that he has a gorgeous alpha male for a lover, but not happy with how rough and mean their relationship is. Thus, after a few months of this they''re kind of committed to each other, but at the same time Lieann is looking for a more loving relationship and Ravennin''s ego is insulted that Lieann isn''t satisfied with him. OH, and meanwhile they don''t have an exclusive relationship and Ravennin at least is sleeping with other people. Aaaand... enter Merru into the middle of their screwed-up relationship!


So, now that you know more about Ravennin, what kind of heroic goal might he have? I was thinking perhaps his father has several sons and hasn''t named any of them heir because that way they all have to be polite and obedient to him. But Ravennin knows that because he''s hyper-dominant his father wouldn''t choose him, and also that if anyone finds out he''s slept with a beta male he would definitely be disinherited. So maybe his heroic goal would be simply to establish his own dominion or marry into one that has no heir (Lieann''s???). That''s not much of a political situation though... Also, what work might Lieann and Ravennin be assigned to do together?

Have the Dragons devided into countries or states of some sort? A tension between two countries, leading to tensions between people who originated in that country but now live where Atronath etc. live, would set a good political situation which everyone could get involved with. You could stay away from rallies, perhaps having only one rally scene, or perhaps none at all. Perhaps there is just discrimination, killing of people of the other race, and various other things which go on all around us now. Or perhaps you can have a situation in which a few powerful Domains became at odds with each other, like in Romeo and Juliet. Struggles between these two families could grow to involve alliances with other domains and break out as a full civil war. This would give Attronath, etc. many opportunities for various missions.

Ravennin could belong to a strong family, which, near the opening of the story has recently discraced itself. This puts Ravennin and his family in a possision where they are looked down upon. Ravennin could be hoping to win back his family''s honor, not only out of family respect (which is what he tells himself), but also to get a strong position in the dominion (after all, his dad would definately pick him for the heir now, as long as he continued to hide his relationship with Lieann).

I really would like to start fleshing out Kayden a little, because I enjoy the villains most in a lot of stories. Since we know nothing about him except his name and role in the story, could you please put up whatever you have here, that way we can help with whatever difficulties you''re having with him. Personally, I think you''ve got your characters well fleshed out, from what I''ve seen, and you''re ready to move on to Kayden, as I see Ravennin as being near completion. Of course, this is your story, so it''s up to you what you do. I don''t know what ideas are swirling in your brain right now, and for all I know, Ravennin could be far from completed.

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official Necromancer of GameDev forums Game Writing section

Hmm, Romeo and Juliet - it would be interesting if Kayden and Ravennin were the hereditary rivals, that would give more emotional and political significance to Attranath deciding to be loyal to Ravennin.

I had a few thoughts. First I was thinking that the military academy probably is a dominion and a powerful one, and Maybe Ravennin wants to take control of it through a coup or other political manuvering. And second I was thinking that when Lieann has Marru captive, it would be amusing and interesting if Merru pretended to be a regular stupid construct, so Lieann would be thinking, "Can''t be attracted to him, he''s an animal..." and Merru would get to play escape artist and sneak around maybe trying to free Attranath, then somebody looks a him suspiciously because he''s where he isn''t supposed to be, and he puts on an innocent expression... and meanwhile he''s becoming sympathetic to Lieann, and when something upsets Lieann Merru comforts him.

Or then again we could do like the army vs. navy rivalry and have ravennin and lieann be from the liberal (maybe another country''s) military academy while Attranath and Merru are from the conservative one.

I was thinking about title idead for this project and I put a poll thread in the lounge here if you want to share your opinions/suggestions on the matter.

I may well need to take notes when I read this!

That, of course, isn''t necessarily a bad thing; I''m a bit tired of the same-ol, same-ol!

I must say I don''t have any new comments, but keep up the thoughts! You''d better finish this!

-Geo

Oh - and nothing beats over-the-top sci-fi/fantasy stuff! My shelves (and floor, walls, desks, etc.) are overflowing with this stuff (and lots of other books, but this is by far the largest genre).

Ever read Lavondyss? Just curious.
//edit: again, no relation to the topic, just wondering if anyone on earth has gotten through it.

-Geo

[edited by - Avatar God on December 9, 2003 10:25:41 PM]