Sunandshadow, I wanted to give you an idea for your political situation. You have mentioned clan names for your dragons, and you may be able to take this a bit further. The dragon clans can be just a loose gathering of different groups which have tenuous relations with each other. One clan may be planning hostilities against another clan or even the rest of the clans. It would still be in its early stages so there wouldn''t be any major battles and slaughters, but it would provide a situation that could take your characters anywhere. Also, I think that the military is the perfect excuse for you to group your characters in any way you please. Why would this guy be hanging out with this guy? Because he was ordered to.

On another note, the homosexual themes for your story seem very enlightened, but you may want to downplay your orgy parties. It''s one thing to create a society like ancient Rome where homo and bisexuality are common accepted practices, but I wouldn''t get too graphic. You may turn away many readers (myself included) with too many descriptions of the actual bumpin'' and grindin''. As an example think of what the rave/orgy scene did for The Matrix Reloaded --nothing! We had a perfectly good and dark sci-fi story going and then...huh? What I''m saying is that casual depictions of these scenes should be alright (maybe go a little in depth once if you need to), but don''t go overboard. You may end up having to put Fabio and a guy who looks like Fabio on the cover and selling it in the trashy, romance novel section.

there was an ORGY in the Matrix Reloaded ? Is it just because I am French and we do this all the time or did I miss a portion of the movie ?

Sancte Isidore ora pro nobis !

I wouldn''t really call it an orgy... a really strange party, yes - but not an orgy.

Anyways, I see your point, graham (by the way - i like your name. my last name is graham). Of course, it''s all up to s/s, but I would suggest much along the same lines... I - personally - don''t like to read anything with a whole lot of descriptive romance in it. Although, a little might be necessary to fully utilize the alpha/beta paradox... Hm: the more I think about it, the more I wonder - what, exactly, differentiates the males and females (same, uh, ''style'' body parts as humans? if not, that could be interesting for our ex-human...)?

graham''s comments on the clans could certainly make the rifts w/in the dragons easier to make (and easier to complicate!).

<< I actually had to pull out a grammar book to write that sentence. Did you know your sentences can have TWO question marks at the end (isn''t that weird?)? >>

Hey - s/s - I''d like to see some of what you''ve written. I''m just curious how you write. Obviously, I read your posts, but that doesn''t really give me a feel for the book. I''m really just curious, and I love reading people''s ideas (which I''m doing) and styles (please?).

-Geo.

Ironically, my mother's maiden name is also Graham. ^_~

I rather liked the rave scene in the matrix, except that I don't think Trinity is attractive so I could have done without seeing her undressed. I didn't dislike seeing that, it just suddenly occurred to me to wonder, "Who the heck chose this actress to be the romantic object and why?"

I was discussing styles of writing romance/erotica on a different messageboard the other day. The author Catherine Asaro posted! I was so excited! But anyway, the consensus was that science fiction novels generally describe gestures and make few direct statements about the emotions the characters are feeling during the non-erotic scenes, then the erotic scenes are very minimally described, usually in poetic terms rather than detailed description. They follow the writing advice, "Show, don't tell." Romance novels, on the other hand, are almost the opposite - they make a lot of direct narratorial statements about what the characters are feeling, but they often don't describe characters' motions in any physical detail _except_ during the erotic scenes. And then on the third and fourth hands ^_~ we have porn written by gay males vs. slash/yaoi written by women. The former tends to be very visually and explicitly descriptive in both the non-erotic moments (describing the setting for example) and the erotic scenes. The emotional content is often not described at all, but when it's there it's handled similarly to a romance novel, with direct narratorial statements. The latter always has the emotions both conveyed through gestures and directly stated, and the erotic scenes are usually explicitly described.

So, I have four models of writing here to choose from. I personally like the slash/yaoi model best (makes sense, I'm in it's target audience more than the others.) I also quite like the visual orientation of the gay porn and the science fiction; I'm an artist and also a very visual person myself, and reading a regular romance novel often makes me feel as if I've been blindfolded because there's not enough visual description for me to picture the story clearly in my mind. So when I write, I try to concentrate on the psychology of my characters' emotions in both erotic and non-erotic scenes, and have clear and rich visual and other sensory (scent, touch, sound) descriptions in both kinds of scenes also. My sex scenes do tend to be rather explicitly described - I'm not writing about homosexuality to be enlightened, but because I think it's fun. How well I succeede at doing any of this in my writing you may feel free to judge for yourselves. Examples of my romantic/erotic writing are here:

Facepaint - A Fushigi Yuugi yaoi fanfic rated nc-17 (language and explicit sex). Pairing is Tomo/Mareu (Nakago's reincarnation) Examples of how I do erotic scenes are in chapters 5 and 8.

As The Moon Loves The Sun - A Lord Of The Rings slash fanfic rated pg-15 (language and adult situations). Pairing is Grima Wormtongue/Faramir. There aren't any actual erotic scenes, but there's somebody daydreaming in bed by himself, and a kiss.

Of these two, the first is how I would handle most of the dragon book, while the second is similar to the way I would handle the myths. I decided what the prologue's going to be, by the way: the myth of the loss of flight. (Remember the dragons have vestigal wings, something like ostritches.)


Edit: Knew I was forgetting something. What physically differentiates the males and females? Well, dragons are an egg-laying species, so all the females need to have wide enough hips and the instinct to build and sit on nests. Alpha males do the fighting to compete for mates and territory so they are taller, have broader shoulders, and other good fighting adaptations like bigger claws. Alphas (both male and female) have stronger and heavier bones (noticable in their facial structure as well as their skeletons), fewer feathers, wing spars instead of developed wings, and are larger, while Betas, being a throwback to birdlike ancestors, have more delicate hollow flight bones, and feathers, particularly on their proportionally larger wings. Beta males, being sterile, haven't had any phsysical traits specifically selected to fit their gender role, but they're basically beta females who have been masculinized. The main difference between males and females of course is that the males have a dick (in a sheath) while females have a vagina. Beta males have smaller dicks than alpha males, partially because they're just smaller dragons to start with, and partially because of their somewhat feminine hormones.

So yes, at first Merru has no idea how many genders there are or how to tell them apart and is quite confused. ^_~ This is why it takes him a month or so to see the dragons as people, much less possible sexual partners. And when he draws some humans to explain what 'animals of his soul breed' look like the dragons think the pictures are quite weird.

[edited by - sunandshadow on December 13, 2003 11:56:45 AM]

[edited by - sunandshadow on December 16, 2003 5:00:13 PM]

Yea for Grahams...

Well, your approach to the ''romantic'' scenes certainly should work (well, clearly it would work, I just mean I think that''s the kind that I also wouldn''t mind reading).

Thanks for the clarification on the dragons... That would be really strange (as Merru). Really.

What bothered me about the Matrix rave scene wasn''t even Trinity naked (although you''re quite right about her)... it was Neo and Trinity, naked, with giant black sockets down their spines. THAT was a little too strange.

_GEo.

Here''s the complete updated summary of the novel concept, if anyone''s interested. I realize it''s realllly long. I would appreciate any comments or suggestions anyone has! ^_^


Learning To Kiss Dragons

(An original military fantasy erotic romance novel by Mare Kuntz, copyright 2003.)


Okay, there are four main characters in two pairs, Merru and Attranath, and Ravennin and Lieann. (well, the pairs will get shuffled around later to become Ravennin and Attranath and Lieann and Merru, but don''t worry about that yet.) Merru is the only character born a human, the rest are aliens which Merru decides to call ''dragons''. They look like humanoid feathered dinosuars with vestigal wings, such as the dinosaur Gallimimus was.



Merru – This character is basically a male version of me. He''s a very go-with-the-flow kind of guy: as long as he has time to play, someone to screw, and nothing too annoying to do, he''s happy. (He''s somewhat like my Faramir, and a lot more like the main character in my Fushigi Yuugi fanfic, as given away by the fact that that character''s name is Mareu. ^_~ Basically I liked him so much and he''s so popular with my readers that I decided to write a novel about him.) Merru is like the monkeywrench in the works of the others characters'' relationships, or perhaps lubricant (ahem ^_~ ) - he is the one who isn''t homophobic, isn''t a virgin, is a playa, and likes to seduce and manipulate others (usually for their own good, but of course they don''t see it that way ^_^ ). Kind of like Albus Dumbledore, only young and sexy, if you can imagine that o.O . He starts out as a university student who thinks of himself as being extremely intelligent and having everything under control (yes he''s a little conceited ). Then he suddenly finds himself in an alien body on an alien world not understanding the language and being treated like an animal. He first ponders whether he has lost his mind, decides that if he has he can''t do anything about it anyway, so he might as well assume that he''s really in alienland. He does NOT panic, as fantasy protagonists have such an irritating propensity to do. Rather, he calmly sets about studying the aliens and trying to learn their language (like the professor on Giligan''s Island, if you like).



Constructs - What Merru has actually become is a Construct, a magically-created alien body with an animal''s soul translated into it, used as a slave, servant, and/or pet. Have you ever read the myth of Pygmalion and Galatea? It''s basically like that. Dragons have magic of some sort, and they used to keep other dragons as slaves, and one day (hundreds of years before the present time of the story) somebody sculpted a beautiful dragon-slave and brought it to life by calling an animal''s soul to inhabit the body. (Dragons who make constructs are called Constructors, and they are usually female because in dragon culture creativity and artisticness (and buying ans selling stuff too) are viewed as female areas, while administration, hunting, fighting, and similar things are viewed as male areas.)

Constructs are the same shape and size as dragons. Constructs are usually made to look like either alpha males (fighting/working constructs) or beta females (for decoration/screwing), and there are probably some alpha females (maids, or for screwing by those who prefer alpha females. Merru in particular has been constructed by the staff of the army''s military academy and is intended to be the personal servant/partner of an officer - he is unusually large for a construct, a bit taller and more broad-shouldered than any natural-born alpha male would be. He is a bit taller than both Attranath and Ravennin, and almost two feet taller than Lieann, which makes them quite a visually interesting couple, something I intend to take advantade of in the cover art, perhaps by having Lieann sitting on Merru''s shoulder.

There are almost no beta male constructs. Constructs are usually handsome/pretty because they are made by artists. The visual difference between constructs and dragons (at least in the current version of the worldbuilding, may change) is that dragons have black feathers and constructs are blond. Also all constructs are supposed to wear collars at all times. The means by which a soul is magically drawn into a construct is not very accurate or under control. I imagine the magic for grabbing a soul is kind of like a search engine where you can enter lots of terms but you still might get a nonsensical result. Many souls can''t handle being put into an alien body and go mad - in this case the soul is banished from the body, any damage that the mad creature did to its body is repaired, and they try again with a new soul. There''s a law against using dragon souls for this purpose because it would kill the dragon in question, so the Constructors try to get animal souls, and usually they do. But the whole process is rather trial and error, particularly because the Constructers who work for the military academy are supposed to be doing research to improve the constructs which they see as tools/weapons/technology, and so one of them managed to reach all the way to another planet (Earth) and grab Merru''s soul.

Because normal constructs have the brains of animals, they''re _stupid_; dragons expect constructs to have about the intelligence of a dog, and treat them accordingly. But Merru is not only of human-level intelligence, he''s a genius. Being treated as an animal is a blow to his self-confidence, and being unable because of his cultural and linguistic ignorance to demonstrate his intelligence is even more disheartening and frustrating; but it''s also unexpectedly, exhiliratingly freeing, like a second childhood. As he gets used to the situation he also realizes that he is lonely, and that somewhere along the way he lost track of his sexuality, because he can''t yet read the dragons'' (that''s what he has dubbed the aliens) body language, and doesn''t really consider any of them attractive because they don''t seem like people to him. So this guy who was a playa is suddenly chaste and disoriented by this. Then he gets assigned to belong to Attranath.



Attranath – Attranath is the soldier (he''s a bit like Eomer, only less tempermental, he tends to worry quietly rather than lose his temper). His first name means ''loyal heart'', and that''s exactly what he has. Attranath is the bastard son of a nobleman and a common woman, and since these dragons have a rather rigidly caste-oriented society, this puts him into the no mans'' land between nobility and commoners. Technically he''s nobility, and his father could have recognized him and made the heir, except there was already a legitimate son. So as an unrecognized bastard Attranath gets to use his father''s last name (only nobility have last, or clan, names) but he has to use the ''Bar'' particle that marks him as illegitimate. Thus his full name is Attranath Bar-Televey, while his legitimate brother Kayden would be Kayden Televey, no ''bar''. (Kayden is The Villain! Although at first he seems to be only a minor villain, he is eventually revealed as the major villian, a homophobic bigot and generally mean cruel and hidebound guy.) In this culture nobility and military prowess are related, so Attranath enlists in the army, with the dream of being a glorious and honorable soldier and earning full nobility for himself (basically by being knighted), and thence the respect of his brother and the other nobility. (Merru''s name, once he belongs to Attra, is Merru Con Bar-Televey, Con being a particle signifying ''construct of''.)

But Attranath has two problems. The first is that his mental image of the ideal alpha male he wants to become (I''ll explain that later) is a macho leader, whereas Attranath has a naturally submissive personality and is only happy when he''s following a leader he respects and loves. Attranath hasn''t yet figured out that this vision of his idealized self is not something that he can live up to, and even if he could he wouldn''t be happy this way. Attranath''s other problem is that he thinks being macho and honorable, etc. requires being straight. Which in a sense it does, since this particular army has a rule against being gay and will throw you out if you get caught. Attranath doesn''t think he''s gay (major denial), he just thinks he''s macho enough not to be obsessed with or easily manipulated by females. Of course he doesn''t have a crush on his squad leader, it''s just true respect and a little bit of hero worship. Of course we the readers have a bit more objective point of view and can see the iceberg looming ahead whenever he eventually gets a clue, heheh. But meanwhile he loves being in the army because he likes following orders and he feels that he''s making himself into a ideal man, and because his squad leader Bannis is really nice, and his teammates are becoming the clan/family he never had, etc.



Bannis - Bannis is actually being nice to Attranath, this is not just Attranath''s perception. Bannis likes Attranath''s gung-ho, motivated spirit and obedience (a lot of these noble officer-candidate cadets are used to everybody deferring to them and hate to bow their crest and take orders from anyone). Bannis realizes that as a bastard Attranath is going to face a lot of mistreatment and prejudice that could harm his career, and plus he''s just not that smart, even though he''s got a heart of gold and plenty of courage and loyalty (his name after all means ''loyal heart''). To succeed, Attra''s going to need all the help he can get, especially in the form of a good partner-construct (i.e. Merru). So, Bannis (who is btw straight as the proverbial arrow) has taken Attranath under his wing and thinks of him as his little brother, and a man who is going to make someone and excellent sidekick/right hand man someday - maybe even Bannis himself, if he gets promoted to command. So, when Bannis gets his briefing with reports on all the constructs he can choose from to assign to his cadets, he gives the most promising-looking one, Merru, to Attranath. He may also have a sister he tries to match Attranath up with later.



Merru and Attranath''s first segment of plot:

So there''s Merru and Attranath, and it''s hopefully easy to imagine how the first part of the book portrays them getting used to being partners and eventually becoming best friends, and their relationship dynamic, which starts out with Attranath as the owner and Merru as an animal, slowly reverses with Merru''s growing ability to speak Dragon, until Merru has become the leader Attranath respects and loves and Attranath has become Merru''s staunch defender and sidekick. Here''s the tentative outline for this part of the plot. (Note that these chapters will not occurr sequentially, they will have myths and chapters about the other two main characters interspersed. And all of the following chapter titles are working titles which will probably be replaced with less boring ones later.)



Merru and Attranath''s Plot Outline:

Chapter 1 - Enter Merru

Merru suddenly and unexpectedly goes from a position of competence and mastery to a position of ignorant person/treated like an animal. This is both a blow to his self-confidence and unexpectedly exhilaratingly freeing, like a second childhood. He also goes from an adult sexuality to a child- or animal-like chastity, although he doesn''t notice this at first. It takes awhile for his mind to adapt to the idea of considering dragons attractive. But he does notice he''s alone, and lonely. Merru goes through assorted testing and observation, which includes him being set loose in a playroom of children''s toys, where he plays with blocks and first socializes with a dragon. Merru is first collared (he has been identified, incorrectly, as a parrot).

Collared? Parrot? Soulbreeds - A construct is essentially a biological robot imbued with an animal''s soul/mind. Merru started out as a human animal, but most constructs start out as some species of animal native to the dragons'' planet. Constructs are tagged according to this ''soulbreed'' so that their dragon handlers will have a general idea of how they can expected to behave. Dog constructs act like dogs, cat constructs act like cats, etc. Merru is at first mis-identified as a parrot because he is attempting to speak by imitating dragons, much like a parrot would.

Now, dragons don''t have animal soul/minds, but they do have soulbreeds - for a dragon a soulbreed is like a personality type or an astrological sign. (Hey baby, what''s your soulbreed? You look like a fox to me! ^_~ ) I would imagine Attranath is the loyalty animal, either a dog or horse-equivalent, I haven''t decided yet. Ravennin a is a Tyger, Lieann a fox or a snake... Merru is the animal that is the trickster figure in dragon mythology, some sort of medium sized-animal with dexterous paws and a craving for shiny and colorful things. Anyway dragons tend to use this totemic symbolism in making jewelry, choosing costumes for a holiday about soulbreeds, and coming up with visual themes for their ornamental body paint.

So, back to the plot. Squadron Leader Cadet Bannis receives a folder of briefings on the constructs available for him to assign to his squad members. Merru is one of the constructs and Attranath is one of the squad members. Bannis goes to personally inspect the constructs and makes some observations about Merru.



Chapter 2 (2 years earlier) – Attranath Gets a Rude Awakening

[I''m not at all sure if this is how I really want this chapter to happen. I was thinking that the beta male should be more aggressive and might even be Lieann (who I''ll introduce below. Erm. Waaay below. o_O )]

Attranath hates being a bastard. He wants the respect of his legitimate half brother and other full nobles. His dream is to go into the army, be a glorious and virtuous soldier (he envisions himself as a macho dom/leader giving orders, naturally), and earn full nobility for himself. Which would get rid of that damn ''Bar'' in front of his name. Meanwhile however Attranath is something like a gang member, definitely a sub/follower (hints that his vision of his future is unrealistic, because he''s tempermentally suited to be a sub). The gang amuses itself by, among other things, drinking and harassing beta males. These combine to create a problem when Attra, slightly drunk, has a beta male (Lieann???) pinned threateningly against a wall... and startles both of them by kissing him instead of the expected harassment. Attranath panics and runs. Then he decides he''s more afraid that the beta male might tell someone, and goes back to threaten him into keeping his mouth closed. The beta male promises to say nothing (or has vanished?), but Attranath is now very upset and disturbed. Where previously he had been proud of himself because he was macho enough to not be obsessed with or easily manipulated by females, now he''s deathly afraid that he might be gay. Fortunately, the army exists to make people into soldiers, who are definitely macho and not gay. So, Attranath goes to the military academy and does his best to completely bury in his mind even the idea that beta males exist, much less that he might want to kiss one. Attranath gets verbally abused about being a bastard.



Chapter 3 – Boot Camp

Attranath goes through basic training and it works its usual changes on his psyche – he mentally becomes a soldier. Bannis becomes his squadron leader and Attranath hero-worships him, being very helpful and loyal and friendly... if we didn''t know better, we might suspect Attranath had a crush on Bannis. But this idea doesn''t occur to Attra. Bannis becomes fond of Attra because Attra does have charisma and is very ''motivated'' and ''gung-ho'' and always ''inspection-ready'', and he never pitches fits because he''s used to being the dom and doesn''t like to take orders; in other words, a squadron-leader''s dream come true. Bannis sees Attranath as a younger brother and wants to help him by assigning him a good construct – and Attranath is going to need the help to balance out the prejudice against him because he''s only half nobility. Bannis sees that Attranath is a sub and thinks that he is going to make someone a great right-hand-man someday; who knows, maybe Bannis himself once he graduates and is ready to start putting his dominion team together.



Chapter 4 – Partners

Bannis takes his squadron to look at the constructs and pair them up. He asks Attranath if Attranath is up to a challenge, and of course Attranath says “Yes sir!”, so Bannis assigns Merru as Attranath''s PartnerCon, and explains what will be unique and challenging about training Merru. But Bannis, who is expecting Merru to be just an intelligent parrot, doesn''t know the half of it. Merru''s first impression of Attranath is that he is a stiff and robotic soldier-type, overbearing and annoyingly macho (like all alpha males seem to Merru at this point), and especially Merru is irritated because he feels that Attranath sees him as an animal. There''s a lot of potential for humor here – Attranath wants to name Merru something like ''killer'', and Merru insists that his name is ''sunshine'' which is a name for a pampered pet, not a soldier. Then, as one of his first partner duties Attranath must wash and groom Merru (with the rest of the squadron in a group shower), first introducing the physical tension in their relationship. The tension on Attranath''s side comes from the fact that he does _not_ want to put his hands on another alpha male''s bits, even if it is just a construct and just for the sake of cleanliness, but on the other hand he wants Bannis to be proud of his obedience. The tension on Merru''s side comes from the fact that he is being treated like an animal or a child, manhandled by a dragon he can''t talk to and barely knows, isn''t sure he likes what little he does know about Attranath, and is offended/disturbed to not be expected/allowed to touch Attranath in return. Being underestimated and not in control energizes Merru and he takes risks he previously wouldn''t have, such as being an escape artist and baiting Attranath.


Chapter 5 – Merru starts to get used to being in a dragon body. He regains some of his lost confidence and has more tolerance for Attranath. Also he is pleased that Attranath and Bannis are quick to recognize his intelligence and have been giving him more freedom and responsibilities. Merru gains control of his muscles through combat training (which he tolerates only because the dragon squadron members have to do it too) and regains access to his sexuality when he first masturbates. Merru and Attranath do some sort of training exercise that forces them to work as a team; Attranath figures out that it just doesn''t work to give Merru heavy-handed orders (or rather, he gets frustrated with trying to be a proper dom to Merru and gives up). With the two treating each other as equals they are suddenly under less stress, with the result that both their relationship and their teamwork test scores improve. Merru goes from being irritated by Attranath to respecting him and being amused by him. Attranath is happier too, but he feels embarrassed/inadequate because he knows he''s not leading Merru the way a master/superior officer is supposed to lead a construct/soldier. He goes to tell Bannis that he feels he is undeserving of such a high-quality construct and incapable of properly being his partner-dragon. Bannis tells him not to be an idiot and points out how much Attra has taken care of and taught Merru. Highly intelligent constructs require a lighter touch and Bannis doubts any of the other squad members would have been able to restrain their egos enough and been flexible enough to really care for and work with Merru. So with the Bannis seal of approval Attranath decides it''s okay for him to treat Merru as an equal. And this frees Attranath to do what he had been wanting to do: think of Merru not as an animal but as a dragon, and more importantly, a buddy. Perhaps a younger brother. Attranath''s change in his way or treating and speaking about Merru is also picked up by the rest of the squadron, some of whom start treating Merru as a soldier and a member of the team, if not a full equal.



Chapter 6 – Beastiality?

A beta male (see below again o_O). is at the military academy for some reason and goes ''hunting'' for a construct to ''play'' with. He finds Merru. Merru has never seen a beta male and is startled by the hormonal rush of attraction that hits him – this, he realizes, is what he is attracted to. So naturally Merru is curious what exactly type of dragon this is and why he''s never seen one before. It has feathered wings! He still can''t talk much though, so he can''t really ask. But he goes up to the beta male and looks at him interestedly, and the beta male ends up petting him. (Merru permits this partially because he is very lonely living in the construct enclosure with a bunch of animals. The petting gradually edges toward fondling, and Merru realizes, oh my god is he attracted to me? Merru leads the to his cage and they screw. Then the dragon leaves. The next day Merru is asking Attranath about beta males and discovers that Attranath violently dislikes them. Uh oh. This is also how Merru discovers that while beta males are expected to be gay (and consequently not allowed in the army), it''s unacceptable and even unheard of for an alpha male to be attracted to a beta male. Uh oh again. Thus Merru finds himself in the closet.



Chapter 7 - Friends

Merru realizes that Attranath has come to replace all the human friends and family he used to have. Also, having been held by someone once, Merru now feels his loneliness more keenly. He talks Attranath into letting him sleep next to him (totally chastely of course, like a dog and its master). Attranath is disturbed to notice how comforting this is, and how much he has come to need all Merru''s little touches on his arm or shoulder throughout the course of the day, and now being held or cuddled against at night. But Attranath, feeling how intensely he needs this contact, rationalizes it that Merru is his good friend, and owner and construct are supposed to pat each other on the shoulder, and of course there''s nothing sexual at all going on here, nope, nosir. Because even if Attra does have a monster in his closet, Merru is a huge alpha male and a good soldier and more dominant than Attranath so therefore he must be safely straight and Attranath should not insult him by being interested in him. But then during a training exercise Merru somehow saves Attra from getting hurt, and suddenly Attra has to see Merru as capable of some things he himself is not capable of – this makes Merru Attranath''s equal, possibly even his superior. Now it''s not Attranath protecting Merru like a big brother, it''s Attranath and Merru protecting each other, like true partners and best friends. And best friend is really what Merru has become, replacing Bannis as the object of Attranath''s worshipful loyalty and eager helpfulness. And now that Attranath is willing to be not just Merru''s grudging equal, but to let Merru make the decisions sometimes (and Merru is better at planning that Attranath) they are even more successful as a team of soldier partners. And Merru, who likes a helpful and cooperative Attra better than a stiff macho one, grows fonder of Attranath too. One day he sees Attranath flushed with victory or sharing friendly laughter with the other squadron members, and Merru thinks, Huh, he really is pretty likable. Almost... magnificent. Merru wouldn''t mind nibbling on his neck... Uh oh. Merru''s attraction to Attranath grows stronger once he has noticed it and starts considering the idea, but Merru finally decides firmly that he will not attempt to seduce Attranath, because Attranath is definitely straight and homophobic and would freak out if Merru even suggested they do anything like that. Irony irony.



Chapter 9 - Soulbreeds

Merru''s ability to speak has been steadily improving, and now with the opportunity to plan and lead, Merru''s intelligence has really become obvious. Attranath suspects that Merru is actually more intelligent than he himself is. So he goes to talk to Bannis about it. Bannis observes with satisfaction how well Merru and Attranath have bonded. He also orders Merru''s intelligence to be retested and also Merru to be tested for the first degree of construct competency – this is for constructs what rank is to dragons. Naturally Merru passes the competency exam and he gets a different uniform that makes dragons treat him a little differently. His improved ability to speak and understand instruction have raised his already-high intelligence scores so much that he maxes out the construct test – a new test using the dragon scale is rescheduled. The examiner has also decided that Merru''s soulbreed is inaccurate. Merru gets Attranath to explain to him what soulbreeds are, how soulbreeds are more like signs of the zodiac or personality types for dragons, and what Attranath''s soulbreed is. Merru explains that he was an alien before he was translated. He is re-collared as an unknown, which results in beta males (among others) regarding him as more dangerous. Merru starts attending lecture classes with Attranath. This does not please the teacher. Merru considers it a personal victory when he is first able to answer a question in class, and even more so when he first asks an intelligent question that stumps the teacher because of his alien perspective. Merru is finally starting to have enough linguistic competence and sociological knowledge that he can apply his previous human university education to the world of dragons. Especially video games, which he discovers he is much better at than Attranath, maybe even better than most of the dragons in the school. With all of these things marking him as not your average construct he starts to have trouble getting beta males to play with him; it is another landmark of his life when he pretends not to be able to talk to get one to keep petting him, the first time since he was constructed that Merru has tried to be perceived as less intelligent rather than more so.

Chapter 10 – A Dream

It comes up in conversation that the other squad members think of Merru as being practically Attranath''s partner/mate (dragon language has this word in both the non-sexual and sexual senses, and the squad member who says it means the non-sexual sense) because they groom each other and just generally act like brothers or intimate friends. They don''t (yet) know that they two sleep cuddled together. Attranath hears the word ''mate'' in it''s sexual sense and reacts very badly to the idea, which puzzles the dragon who made the comment. Attranath subsequently has a dream about the situation with the beta male (Lieann?) described in chapter 2 which originally triggered his sexuality, but with Merru substituted for the beta male. Attranath realizes that he has gone from thinking of Merru as his best friend to thinking of him as the person he loves (and that he has to hide this fact as deeply as possible and forever). He lives in a torment of sexual tension for a while, living as closely with Merru as he does; need a scene where he masturbates in the shower or somewhere and can''t stop himself from moaning Merru''s name.

Then it''s the end of the semester, and everyone is thrilled to get leave and talking about what they are going to do with it. Naturally the conversation turns to sex, and who''s a virgin. Attranath is embarrassed to be one, and somebody suggests he go to this whorehouse, and take Merru with him (since they all assume Merru is a virgin, and they now see him as a person, a soldier, and a member of the team who shouldn''t be left out.) Someone asks Merru whether he likes alpha or beta females better. Merru knows by this point that it would be really bad to confess to liking beta males and having already slept with a few, so he says he doesn''t know. He ends up explaining how humans don''t have alphas or betas, and that human females look completely different from dragon females, so he doesn''t know if what he considers attractive in a dragon is anything like what a real alpha male would consider attractive. He ends up sketching some humans, which drawings are generally regarded with confusion by the squad members.

Anyway, they go see the whore (an Alpha female because Attranath at least knows he prefers those to Beta females), but Attra can''t get it up because he''s both nervous and only sort of interested in her. The whore has an idea (based on her experience with soldiers) and takes Attra and Merru to the BDSM room. Attranath is like “woah...” Anyway the whore ascertains that Attra is a sub and gets him tied to a whipping frame and blindfolded. Merru immediately recognizes the BDSM implements and isn''t sure he wants to be involved with them, but thinks this will be interesting to watch. Attranath gets into being flogged and the whore unsheaths him, and Merru can''t help himself – he gestures to the whore to be silent, kneels before Attranath, and swallows down his cock. Attranath gasps and arches at the combination of pain and pleasure, and starts moaning loudly. The whore is unfazed and actually a bit amused by this turn of events, and keeps her mouth shut. Attranath does not have enough brain cells at the moment to figure out that it must be one person behind him and one in front of him – he just assumes the whore''s doing it all. Attranath comes and Merru goes back to where he was sitting before Attra''s blindfold is removed.

And beyone this point I''ve only thought of bits and fragments of plot that it would only confuse you to tell you about them, so I''ll leave that for some other time.


Things to work into the above chapters:

Merru making faux pas until he learns about dragon culture. Attranath finding his own nature working against his plans and getting politically outmanuvered by various people because he''s not the sharpest tool in the shed. Characterizing the members of the army troop - Darred always bets on everything, Kattsin has women on the brain and drools whenever he sees one. I need to think up more funny characteristics for the soldiers. I need to think of assignments and exercises for my cadets to do. These must serve the purpose of showing the struggle to find a workable balance in the relationship between Merru and Attranath. Need opportunities for Merru to save Attranath''s butt and Attranath to look flushed with victory; this event also needs to provide opportunities to characterize the other troop members, especially in their comic aspects. Oh, and Attranath is given an army manual on how to train particularly intelligent constructs which is funny because the advice it gives is worse than useless – he ends up throwing it away in disgust.





Now we have the other pair of main characters, Ravennin and Lieann (told you I''d get to him eventually ^_~ ). They are both ''tiered nobility'' (which basically means they''re like ''lords'' rather than ''sirs'', hereditary earls or dukes rather than dubbed knights like Attranath wants to be. These two characters are initially on the opposite political side from Attranath and appear to be the villains (but Merrru and Attranath are going to switch sides eventually, and Kayden and the military academy will be revealed as the real villains). Each of these characters has a problem - Lieann''s problem is that he''s a beta male, while Ravennin''s problem is that he''s Territorial with a capital ''T'', basically he has a hormonal disorder that makes him hypermasculine

Lieann is a beta male. What''s that? Well, I believe I mentioned Attranath is an alpha male. So is his half-brother Kayden, and Bannis, and all the other dragons in the troop, and Merru; although Merru as a construct might be considered genderless in the way an animal is, rather than having gender the way a dragon would. But the important thing is that he too looks like an alpha male - tall, broad-shouldered, with the only feathers on their body being those that make up the cockatoo-like crest, and their vestigial wings having been converted to featherless bone spars encased in tough leather and useful for fighting. Originally all dragon males looked like this, and dragon females looked somewhat like this too. But then there was a mutation and ''the most beautiful woman in the world'' (think Helen of Troy) was born. She was the first beta female - a throwback with a variant X chromosome that made her have feathered wings and be smaller and more delicately built than the original alpha-female dragons. This first beta-female was quickly seized by a nobleman to be his wife, and half of her daughters were as beautiful as she and married off to other noble families, spreading the variant X chromosome throughout the gene pool of the nobility. Now, all of these beta females have one variant X chromosome and one regular one. But some of them had sons who bore the variant X-chromosome rather than the regular one. These were still alpha males, practically indistinguishable from regular alpha males. And some of these males married other beta females, such that some of their children inherited two copies of the variant X chromosome and no regular ones. And these children were feathered and delicate just like the beta-females, but because the variant X chromosomes lacked some hormonal instructions, they were phenotypically male, genetically female, and sterile. And, almost universally, they were attracted to alpha males rather than either sort of females. So the typical idea of homosexuality in the dragons'' culture came to be the image of an alpha male and a beta male as a mated pair (which is why it doesn''t occur to Attranath that he might have a crush on Bannis - of course he doesn''t, who ever heard of an alpha male liking another alpha male? ^_~ ).

So, since most alpha males can find something they like between the two different female genders, and since beta males are sterile and it''s essential to the nobility to be able to produce a son, and because beta males can''t (usually) inherit and thus have a difficult time getting political or financial power, and because most noble alpha males spend some time in the army and the army has a rule against homosexuality, very few alpha males are willing to take a beta male as a lover. So there aren''t many beta males to start with because of the genetic distribution, and those there are are generally not taken seriously, mistreated, disliked, and lonely because alpha males won''t take them as mates. Absolutely none of which Merru knows the first time he sees a beta male and goes, "Oh my god this body does have hormones! Oooh, I want a helping of that... maybe two..." [BTW Merru''s first sexual contact with a beta male is not with Lieann, it''s with a random beta male beastialist (by which I mean he screws regular stupid constructs). This beta male is visiting the military and sneaks into the construct compound to play with one. Merru (who can''t talk much yet) sees him and is intensely interested in this new pretty kind of dragon. The beta males pets Merru the way you would play with a dog. The petting edges into fondling, Merru figures out what''s going on and thinks Score! And they go in Merru''s cage and screw. The whole scenario is ironic because the beta male thinks of the encounter and Merru in rather animalistic terms (the way bestialists typically do) but Merru feels humanized (dragonized?) because a person has seen him as attractive and worthy of being a mate.]

Lieann Aravian has experienced all of the typical problems of life as a beta male. He happens to be extremely intelligent particularly in terms of tactics; impatient with idiots (practically everyone from his pov); and used to using power because he is after all a child of nobility. So Lieann is used to being lonely, and perfectly aware that he is much-disliked. He responds to this by being misanthropic and unconcerned about others'' feelings (which just makes him more disliked. He has learned to verbally defend himself with biting sarcasm, and is rebelliously defiant of society. He is somewhat bitter and jaded, but still has a healthy (if dark and a bit sadistic) sense of humor. He is particularly satisfied if he can shoot down an alpha male''s machismo and ego. But on the other hand he _is_ extremely lonely and thus vulnerable to any alpha male who would be nice to him. He wishes he could find one who was actually worth his admiration rather than his contempt. At some point someone complains that “Lieann is too bitchy, can''t we find someone to lay him and put him in a better mood?” Lieann doesn''t accept the idea of being powerless, he uses his intelligence and sharp, eloquent tongue to blackmail and manipulate people into doing what he wants. (Are you seeing the overtones of Grima Wormtongue yet? ^_~ Lieann is also similar to the character Tomo in Fushigi Yuugi, he''s Mareu''s romantic object in my fanfic _Facepaint_.)

Lieann''s desire to manipulate people and prove himself better than alpha males is how he gets involved with Ravennin - either he uses the fact that he''s in heat to seduce Ravennin or he offers to help Ravennin achieve his heroic political goal (not sure exactly what that is but it involves becomming a Dominion despite his hormonal/social problems, and has to put him in opposition to Kayden and the military academy.)


What''s a Dominion? Dragons live in little dutchies, basically a clan castle/manor house for the noble family and the village of commoners it overlooks. One of these is called a Domain. The ruler of the Domain is the dominant alpha male of the noble family, and he''s called the Dominion. But dragons have a leadership and family structure something like lions. The alpha males tend to kill each other off as teenagers, so there are more adult females than adult males, and you get polygamy. In order for an alpha male to have political power over alpha males he has to be stronger than them (for modern dragons this would be military/political/monetary strength, but for their primitive ancestors it would have been physical strength.) So it''s a major advantage for an alpha male if he can get another alpha male to be his right hand man. That would give you the Dominion, his Sub (a subordinate or submissive alpha male, occasionally a beta male) and some females, and all together this would be the ruling family of the clan, called a Dominion team. All of the members would refer to each other as mates (in the British or Australian sense of the word where it means friends) and would specify which were their lover(s) by referring to these as Ardenmates. The dragon word for a casual lover is Ardens, while a permanent lover is an Ardenmate. So basically your Mate would be your co-husband or co-wife and friend, but only possibly your lover. So a typical dominion team would be the Dominion (alpha male), his two or three wives (probably at least one a beta female), his Sub(s)(alpha and/or beta male), and maybe a wife for the Sub. Basically to the dragon mindset every relationship, sexual or friendly, has a dominant member and a subordinate member, and that''s the way things are supposed to work. (Um, I realize that Sub should not normally be capitalized, but it''s an official dragon social role and I was capitalizing all dragon terms... o_O )

The army is an extension of this Dominion team concept. The leader of a squad is it''s Dom, and all the squad members are his Subs, at least in theory. But naturally some of these squad members want to be Doms too, so you get a constant low-level power struggle between them and the commander which is kept non-violent by military discipline and the promise of eventual promotion to command. You also get some squad members being dominant to others as a natural internal hierarchy (or pecking order) is established. (If you knows anything about BDSM these terms undoubtedly seem familiar. Just keep in mind that when one alpha male is the dom of sub of another this is expected by dragon society to be a _non_-sexual relationship.) One of the reasons for giving officer candidate cadets Constructs is to give them somebody to practice ordering around.

Now Attranath, he thinks he''s going to win glory and promotion and become a Dominion or at least the Dom of a small family, but what he really is is a Sub looking for a Dom to be loyal to. He first latches onto his commanding officer Bannis, and then transfers his loyalty to Merru when their friendship becomes closer than his friendship with Bannis. So we have the odd situation where a Construct, who is supposed to be property, is acting as the Dom for his master, who is nobility and thus supposed to be a natural-born leader. Attranath has to learn not to be embarrassed by this, and he has to learn that it''s not wrong or perverted or whatever to want to be sexually involved with his Dom. And then there''s Lieann again. Lieann is a beta male, and beta males are culturally expected to be submissive (there''s a proverb that beta males are 1/3 female), but Lieann is also spoiled nobility and impressed with his own intelligence - he would probably be a leader if anyone would follow him. (He is _not_ a sub, which is the main reason his relationship with Ravennin doesn''t work.) But he doesn''t have great people skills, so nobody wants to (until Merru comes along). Now, Merru''s what you would call a Switch, capable of being either a Dom or a Sub depending on what his partner brings out in him. So he Doms for Attranath, but might Sub for Lieann or any sufficiently aggressive person. He would probably get frustrated from being either a complete Dom or a complete Sub for too long, and be happiest if he has a chance to do both. About halfway through the book I will finally get the two pairs of main characters together; Merru and Lieann will become lovers, as will Ravennin and Attranath.


Ravennin – He is a true dominant, and probably a little bit of a sadist, while Attranath is a true submissive and a bit of a masochist, so I would imagine there would be an interesting and intense dynamic between them, which they probably both resist since Attranath is in love with Merru when he meets Ravennin... (He thinks... what he feels for Merru is more the sweet best-friends-till-the-end kind of love, while what he feels for Ravennin at first is just a passionate desire to submit and get fucked, but Attranath will come to understand and love Ravennin, and even fondly like Lieann.) Ravennin and Lieann are both tiered nobility, but Ravennin is even more so, his family being one of the oldest noble families, and one of the only ones that has never had any beta females in it because the family wisdom is that stronger alpha females are better and beta females weaken the bloodline (beta males are only ever born to beta female mothers, for example.) Ravennin wants to dominate everyone including Lieann, and Lieann wants to manipulate and prove himself superior to Ravennin, so from the first there''s a power struggle between them - it makes their relationship intense and a bit violent, and prevents them from actually being friendly until Merru and Attranath arrive to mediate. And Ravennin will be puzzled by Merru, at first inclined to either feel threatened by or contemptuous of him, so he''ll have to observe Merru for a while before he decides to respect him. For Merru''s part, he thinks Ravennin is psychologically interesting, but isn''t sure he trusts Ravennin not to hurt Lieann and Attranath, both of whom Merru is protective of.

Now, Ravennin is an ambitious visionary leader type so he needs to have some big compelling goal to struggle towards. Preferably something that he needs the other three characters to help him accomplish. Particularly, Ravennin should want Lieann''s aid for the reason that Lieann is a tactical and political genius, despite the fact that as a beta male he is ineligible to attend the military academy where Merru was constructed and Attranath is a cadet. Ravennin presumably wants to be a powerful Dominion, as that''s the most natural social role for him – he craves to be in charge. To do this he has to have at least one submate that he can trust to delegate responsibilities to. But remember I said that proto-dragons, particularly alpha males, were territorial and scent marked everything? Well Ravennin has a hormone/behavioral disorder, let''s call it hyper-dominance. He''s exactly what his society says an alpha male should be: a natural leader, decision maker, and fighter who will jealously defend his family and territory, and egotist who is magnetic and intimidating, and has a macho personality (often grouchy, never sad, main three emotional states are businesslike, amused, and annoyed.) And he can barely stand to be in the same room with another dominant male. Modern dragon society, as I said, doesn''t have room for someone who is so strongly territorial, particularly when along with that territoriality go berserker rages and jealousies.

What do I mean by ''berserker''? This is a trait observed in some humans, particularly from certain ethnic backgrounds such as Irish and German. A berserker is a person who ''snaps'' when they get angry; they have no rational control at these times and may feel as if they are watching themselves fight instead of actively, personally directing their actions. This is the sort of person, who, if they discovered their wife was having an affair, might murder the lover and possibly also the wife. This sort of person is often afraid of their own destructive potential because they know they can''t control it, may distance themselves from other people for fear of hurting them accidentally or because others are too great a source of the irritation that strains their fragile control. Feeling that they can''t control themselves, this type of person may react by trying to control everything else and thus becoming a ''control freak''. When the term alpha-male is used to describe humans this is often the sort of human intended; they may also be referred to as ''neanderthals'' or ''cro-magnons''. You can see why the soulbreed symbolizing this type of personality would be a lion or a bull.

So, Ravennin knows it''s irrational, but he still just can''t stand other alpha males, and would find it difficult to socialize with one at all. But this doesn''t apply to beta males. So maybe he''s assigned to work with Lieann, because Ravennin can''t work with anyone else and no one else wants to work with Lieann. They don''t get along terribly well, because they annoy each other, but they can work together and have a grudging respect for each others'' abilities. Being constantly annoyed by Lieann is actually good for Ravennin because it helps him work on his emotional control. So they have one of those ''love thy enemy'' stormy violent romances, where they screw violently, insult each other instead of saying endearments, and tend to bite instead of kiss. Ravennin being something of a sadist, this would have an almost addictive appeal for him, but he would be unhappy because how the hell did he end up screwing a beta male and what if people find out?! Lieann would feel just the opposite - proud that he has a gorgeous alpha male for a lover, but not happy with how rough and mean their relationship is, and a bit contemptuous that Ravennin''s not quite as much of a genius as Lieann is. Thus, after a few months of this they''re kind of committed to each other, but at the same time Lieann is looking for a more loving relationship and Ravennin''s ego is insulted that Lieann isn''t satisfied with him and he thinks he should have a female lover... maybe not instead of Lieann, because he quite likes screwing Lieann, but rather in addition to him, because someone has to have the kids to perpetuate the dynasty. Oh, and meanwhile Lieann and Ravennin don''t have an exclusive relationship and Ravennin at least is sleeping with other people (handprint parties, anyone?). Aaaand... enter Merru into the middle of their screwed-up relationship!

Oh, also Ravennin has a big sister (alpha female) who is the only person he talks to about Lieann and later Attranath.


Scent glands - Okay, the dragon aliens have scent glands behind their cheek bones and at the base of their tails. Males (both kinds) have one type of scent and females (both kinds) have the other type of scent, and then there are smaller differences by which they can determine which individual''s scent it is. Scent-marking is done with a little ritual where the marker touches a fingertip to each of his cheek glands and then rubs the scent on a few particular points on the other dragon. Scent marking reinforces dominance and dominion-teams, e.g. Attranath regularly scent marks Merru because Merru is his personal property, and in the army you always have to mark your stuff (just like stenciling your name on your uniforms and other equipment). The Dominion of a family would regularly scent mark his mates and children, especially before they go to a political function such as a ball.

So naturally scent plays a part in the courting process, like it''s a very important moment when a lover first scent marks another, and it makes illicit liaisons complicated because you always have to make sure you scrub the other person''s scent off. A traditional courting gift is a cloth strip (used to make a nest) soaked with the suitor''s scent - the idea is that proto-dragon-aliens used to scent mark their territory, and the nest is the last vestige of territory thus marked by modern dragon aliens. Also, dragon scent (probably harvested from constructs) is sold in bottles, and used to make aphrodisiac desserts (either cupcakes or candy balls or milkshakes, haven''t decided yet). These would be color-coded so people don''t accidentally eat the wrong one. More humor with Merru not knowing what''s up. ^_~ I was thinking that when Attranath was not around the other guys in the troop would decide to have a little fun by giving Merru the wrong kind and seeing what horrible faces he makes - except he''ll like then and will only realize that this is the wrong response when everyone looks at him like he''s from another planet. (Heh, I guess he _is_ from another planet, but you know what I mean. ^_~ )


Reproduction - Female dragons and beta males have heat cycles when they''re more fertile and horny (although, like humans, they''re up for sex most of the time). And naturally the heat cycles would be detectable by scent. I''m essentially trying to take what I''ve read about how human pheromones work and imagine how dragon society would be different because they can consciously and strongly smell these scents. Dragons sleep in nests and they lay eggs, and symbolism and superstition about eggs are all through their culture - for example, female dragons wear white egg-shaped quartz stones (like the kind you find at the beach) in jewelry which some think is just pretty and others think works as a fertility charm. Also, dragons have a taboo against eating eggs of any species, and would be horrified that humans do.


Body Paint, Crest Decoration, and Masquerades – Dragons don''t wear a whole lot of clothing - the summer uniform for a military construct is only a loincloth/shorts. Instead they''re like some African tribes, they put on body paint for parties, often in a pattern that visually corresponds to the invisible pattern of scentmarking. (The dragon aliens also wrap wires into their crest feathers in a rather African way). One outgrowth of this custom is the handprint party. This is basically an orgy where each person is given an ink pad of a different color, and you have to do some sexual favor to earn a handprint from them, and you try to get handprints of every color all over your body by the end of the evening. Sound like fun? Merru thinks so, especially since he''s much in demand when a beta male throws a male-only one of these. ^_~ One of these parties is where Merru first meets Ravennin, I think, and maybe a casual and almost anonymous encounter with Merru is how Ravennin is introduced to the idea that he can fuck another alpha male, and that, interestingly, this makes it easier for him to tolerate that alpha male and even have a civil, social conversation with him, because something in his mind decides that anyone who has submitted sexually to him is not a competitor or a threat.

A masquerade is the major holiday occasion where the dragons'' show off their costuming skills, which often involves dressing as the animal of one''s soulbreed. I have no idea where it would fit in the plot, but I definitely want to have a masquerade ball where Merru dyes his crest feathers black and comes as a member of the nobility in the sexy clothes one of his beta-male lovers has given him that he normally can''t wear around the other army guys; Merru talks Attranath into coming as a submissive construct complete with bleached crest, minimal clothing, and a collar; Ravennin shows off his hunting ability by wearing a tyger-skin cloak from an animal that he killed with his bare hands; and Lieann comes as something beautiful and elegant that makes Merru drool.



More General Info:

The book will have comic elements because everything I write always has comic elements but it won''t be Terry Pratchett funny. I definitely want the lovers to fluxuate and the readers to be in doubt who''s going to end up with who, and I want some of the lovers to initially appear as villians.

I intend to write in first person from Merru''s POV, with lots of introspection and internal dialogue, for some of the chapters. From this you can probably tell that Merru is intended to be the main character, although Attranath is probably the one who does the most coming-of-age during the story. The other chapters will either be in first or close third from the POVs of assorted other characters, definitely including Bannis, Attranath, Lieann, Ravennin, and some random beta-males. Haven''t decided whether Kayden needs a chapter yet. Or one of Lieann or Ravennin''s relatives, perhaps. But no matter whose eyes we are looking through at any given moment, the subject of that character''s thoughts will always be one or more of the main four characters, and the book should focus about equally on them.


The themes touched on in the book should include:

1) Slavery, ownership, responsibilities of these, dominance, submission, orders, military and patriarchal hierarchy, second-class citizens and outcastes, tyrants and other people with absurd amounts of authority, and the ethics of all of the above.

2) People with different skills and temperaments working together; humorous conflicts re egos and preconceptions, finding a balance, the gestalt phenomenon that the people cooperating are more powerful/resourceful/successful than any of them would be alone, different kinds of love and how they hold a group together, jealousy, creating family and holding it together against outside pressures.

3) Management/manipulation/brainwashing/persuasion/charm; the techniques and ethics of using this skill, especially using it to counter patriarchal/military/tyrannical power. Also the central role of this power in the phenomenon of creating family.

4) Similarly, the power of the sharp tongue and the strategic mind, as used to counter ditto ditto. The problem that this power tends to socially isolate those who use it.


And here are the morals that go with these themes:
- There is no such thing as an inappropriate love, or an indecent one. Love, by connecting us deeply to another person (or people) is what makes life meaningful.

- Happiness is working with the ones you love to accomplish something great together that you couldn''t have done separately. This may be raising a well-loved child, creating a work of art, or founding a university.

- If you aren''t loyal to your loved ones with all your heart, you aren''t loyal to yourself; and any system that won''t let you be loyal to yourself doesn''t deserve to have you be loyal to it.

- Caring is about being nice. Passion is _not_ about being nice. Love must be made out of both, like salad dressing made out of oil and water.

- You are only a slave if you think you are a slave; but you are an animal until you can communicate that you aren''t. Being a free, human adult is about living an examined, introspective life while also being careful and caring of those around you.

- Someone must lead and someone must follow and each needs the other and neither is better, you must be whichever is true to your nature (hmm, sounds like a poem idea...)





Problems:

The book seems to be becoming a fantasy romance novel (the bildungsroman or coming-of-age-and-finding-one''s-place-in-the-world kind) with military elements. Which is odd because I myself read a lot more science fiction than fantasy, but I wanted a fairly low-tech culture which means they would have to be producing constructs by magic rather than technology. So I''ve kind of gotten stuck making things happen with magic rather than my preferred science fiction. Since I never planned to write fantasy and I haven''t read that much of it, and I just don''t think in fantasy terms, I''m having a difficult time working a magic system into my world-building.


The major massive problem: The Plot. The last time I tried to write a novel I had big huge problems because I did not have a good plot outline before I started, so this time I''m trying to make myself outline the plot first. It isn''t going very well. Plotting is the most difficult part of writing for me. This is what I''ve been more-or-less stuck on since July. I know I want to write a romance novel, so one of the things I found very helpful to do was to make a list of all the romantic/sexy/lonely/relationship-angsty moments I''d thought of, and another list of all the funny moments I''d thought of, and then try to cram these into some sort of chronological order. (That''s usually how I picture assembling plot, with each scene being a bead and I have a dish of them and have to put them on a string in some nice order. But there are just so many damn beads in a novel, and some of the prettiest ones you can''t use together because they would clash... ugh.)

As I see it the plot of my story must be built around the changing relationships between the four main characters. I know where each relationship is when the two characters first meet, what general stages it passes through, and where it has settled by the end of the story. The problem is to take these six evolutions and overlay them on top of each other in some kind of logical chronological and dramatically satisfying way. Should character A meet character B first, or character C first? Should character A get sexually involved with character B before or after character B meets character C, and should character C find out about the relationship or should it be a secret? I know I want a happy ending that will be dependent on my theme number two (different people cooperating to accomplish something great together when they couldn''t do it alone) but darned if I know exactly what that climax should be. I''m pretty sure I want a military academy in there somewhere, but I''m having a hard time placing it because logically the bootcamp part should happen about a year before the rest of the story starts and the characters meet, but in a romance novel you should introduce a love interest by at least chapter three and many do it in the very first sentence. I can''t decide whether two of the characters Lieann should have been the one who kissed Attranath and freaked him out, and if so, exactly how this came about, or whether they should be meeting for the first time half way through the book. I can''t decide what Lieann and Ravennin''s jobs are. o_O I did the thing where you put all your ideas on notecards and then rearrange them, and that was somewhat helpful, but not a breakthrough. I keep a notebook where I jot down all my ideas, read them over, and try to combine the best ones, but some of them are stubbornly refusing to be combined.

I''m not quite sure how to verbalize either what plot I already have or what problems need solved. >.< But, let me give it a try...

1) I need to think of a political situation to be going on in the background of the story world. I don''t want to write about people getting killed. A political coup or bloodless power struggle might be good, or something else entirely. If possible, the resolution of this situation should result in beta males becoming more integrated/accepted into society, but I don''t want to write about a civil rights movement either. More like, I want a new myth explaining how beta males fit into the world in a positive way to start circulating, that kind of a sea-change in public opinion. It would also be really neat if I could end the book with the founding of a new academy run on different educational principles where the main characters teach.

2) Depending on this political situation is the question of Ravennin''s heroic goal. It has to be something that he requires Lieann''s help to have any hope of accomplishing. It has to put him into opposition with Kayden and the military academy. It has to ne noble enough that Merru and Attranath are willing to switch to his side once they know what''s really going on, and not just military academy propaganda. It has to result in Ravennin becomming a dominion in some way other than the normal inheritance - I was thinking perhaps his father has several sons and hasn''t named any of them heir because that way they all have to be polite and obedient to him, or perhaps Ravennin knows that because he''s hyper-dominant his father won''t choose him, and also that if anyone finds out he''s slept with Lieann he would definitely be disinherited. Also, attempting to achieve this heroic goal must somehow require Ravennin and Lieann to work together, and later provide the opportunity to get the two pairs of characters to the same physical location, preferably by means of being captured or kidnapped (I need to have the ''vilains'' suddenly in power over the ''good guys''), and/or by Merru''s being ordered to sleep with Lieann for some reason. So... with all those requirements, what can it be?


And finally, The Mythology:


1) The creation happens - not sure exactly how, maybe something about
a cosmic egg and/or a life-instilling song. I''m trying to avoid having
a creator deity because I don''t want the dragons to have religion or
worship as such, but on the other hand I really like the idea of
creator as experimental artist... Anyway, twelve kinds of animals are
created, and each is like a clan or tribe and sticks to itself. Each
has some strengths and some serious weaknesses, and no tribe by itself
manages to have much of a civilization; e.g. the Tygers are warriors
who always have fresh meat and cool bodypaint but they don''t build
houses or clean up the trash, and they''re always fighting with each
other. People (dragons) are _not_ created.

2) A version of the folktale about how the bat is neither bird nor
beast - only my version will be about the trickster animal, how it''s
an omnivore and neither predator or prey (or maybe both, tying in with
the whole dom/sub/switch thing). I thought it would be really
appropriate to have this near the beginning where I introduce Merru,
because Merru''s totem animal is the trickster one, and having been put
into a dragon''s body makes him neither human nor dragon.

3) There is an animal of one kind who falls in love with an animal of
another kind, and he goes through several adventures to finally get
her to marry him, including dressing up as the other kind of animal
and being discovered (wolf in sheep''s clothing myth).

4) Other misfits leave their species tribes to join this motley one.
Two of these form the first bond of blood brotherhood, and at least
one is an orphan who gets adopted. These different kinds of animals
learn to live together, and combining their various strengths they
come up with the first real civilization and government (called a
Domain) and its ruler, a Dominion (his submate is the first blood
brother).

5) They have crossbreed kids who have the traits of multiple species,
and eventually they get thoroughly mixed together and people (dragons)
are produced as the thirteenth type of animal. But they still each
claim whichever of the original twelve kinds of animal they are most
similar to as their totem or soulbreed.

5b?) Not sure whether I''m going to do this, but I was thinking that up to this point it was a ''golden age'' and all dragons could fly, but then they have to lose the ability to fly somehow to become modern dragons. I wanted to do this with a little twist - instead of a standard ''fall from grace'' moral, I want to suggest that the dragons are better off without flight, and perhaps they gave it up voluntarily so their civilization could advance.

6) After this the myths are more historical - there is one based on
the story of Helen of Troy about the birth of the first beta female, one on the myth of Pygmaleon and Galatea about the creation of the first construct, and some stories explaining the origin of certain cultural customs like musk-laced food and masquerade balls.

7) There will also be a set of myths or possibly poems about each of the totem animals - especially one about Tygers and hunting for Ravennin.

8) If I can figure out how, I would like to end the story with Merru creating a new, positive myth about the place of beta males in society - maybe he could tell it to his children (have to get his sterility fixed as part of the plot).


What problems am I having with the mythology? Well, what should I do with the beginning? I need to decide how many animals there are and what their names and characteristics are. And finally, how should I connect the myths to the novel chapters that go in between the myths to make it clear that the reader should be thinking about how the myths are connected to and illuminate the realistic part of the novel?


Yay, you made it to the end!!! ^_^ Thank you very much for wading through all that, and I''m really looking forward to hearing your suggestions and comments!

Wow, I am pretty sure you just broke the record for longest post EVER ;-) And me who thought I was the only one to post so much at once...
now to read all that...

Sancte Isidore ora pro nobis !

quote: Original post by Iron Chef Carnage
So, is this going to be trashy softcore porn, or what?

Sigh, everybody asks me that... It is going to be literary erotic romance. Like _Lady Chatterly''s Lover_ or something. I don''t write ''trashy''.